Half-way living

At life group this week we talked about being light out in the world and what consequences come from being a "Jesus Freak".

We also talked about being pro-life but struggling when people around us, also claiming to be pro-life say that abortion is okay in some circumstances.

The Lord (or the Benadryl) put something in my heart I can't move past. I don't know yet what He's trying to tell me but I keep thinking about how the above examples illustrate living in the middle of the road. It's easiest to be a Christian but not be a witness or to be pro-life but still tolerate some cases of abortion.

Our culture does not pride itself on being excellent, praiseworthy, or fully dedicated to anything (other than oneself or pop culture). America's favorite value right now is tolerance. Not tolerance of strong Christian beliefs, but tolerance of everything else under the sun.

I am an all-or-nothing type. I don't go into any project without being armed with information. It's a coping device for insecurity, I'm sure, but it's still my reality. I don't get half way into anything-I go overboard, just ask my poor husband who's patiently listened to me drone on about scores of ideas & plans over the years.

As I was pondering this half-way living thing, I kept thinking that I was above it. After all, I'm sold out to everything I'm involved in: pro-life work, mothering, being the best wife I can be...this obviously doesn't apply to me.

Oh, but it does. And I think the Lord wants to show me in just how many ways it applies to me. Ouch.

I know when I worked, my parenting was not what it is now. I didn't have the patience I now have and I did a lot of parenting in auto-pilot mode. It's probable that I still meander into that half-way mothering.

After reading Same Kind of Different as Me, I could identify more with Ron, the rich man who starting serving the homeless because his wife was passionate about it. He wasn't comfortable getting too close; he mainly wanted to do his serving in the food line and go home. Denver, in contrast, quietly & regularly cleaned up an invalid lying in his own bodily fluids in a shoddy nursing home. Would I do that? Not for someone who treated me the way that man treated Denver, that's for sure.

Right now that's all I've got. But I have a strong feeling the Lord wants to show me more. I'll leave you with this verse to ponder:

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Oh, one little thing-I don't want this to come across as a legalistic thing. As Christians we are called to do all things as unto the Lord (with excellence). I want what I'm called to do to be done wholeheartedly for Him, nothing halfway. No floating along with the culture. Make sense?