We are in a stage of closing doors. The most obvious is the closing the door of me working outside our home. The transition has gone better than I anticipated. When I left the other center to stay home with Ashlyn and Hope, it took quite some time to adjust to the switch from professional clothes and meetings to mommy clothes and diaper changes.
Our family is larger now, with more work to be done, which accounts for part of the ease. Maybe since I'm older I can more appreciate the peace that comes from a less harried lifestyle.
Of course, there's the closing of the door to our land. I had to write a description of our land for a realtor this weekend and I had to fight back the tears. Yes, me who's ready to just sell and move on. I can't go out there now that the days are so nice or I'll change my mind! Once the leaves start changing, there's no way any of us should set foot on that property!
Another door needs to stay a mystery for a little longer, but believe me, it still comes with a bittersweet taste. In the long run, we believe it will bring a more peaceful pace to our abode. Plans are underway right now to close this door. I can't wait to update you when the time is right.
A final door that I'm just not sure about closing is the door to more children. I told my cousin in an email this morning that I find it quite unfair that couples with two children often find it so easy to make the permanent decision while here I am with five children and I'm faltering! It's not that I necessarily want more children, but I am so unsure about ending our fertile years. It seems that if God gave us fertility for a good ten more years, who are we to tell God we don't want it? To be honest, I feel like we're considering making a quick leap and not looking back. I just can't do it yet. I need more time to work through the philosophical side...am I crazy?
May the Lord help us all as we navigate our open & closed doors :) Many blessings to you this week as you seek his will.