Praise & Prayer

At Life Group last night, Aaron, our fearless leader mentioned that all the different people God created show a different side of His image. I thought about my post about Jaybird being a high activity child and I also thought of my highly social Hopey...these girls like life the Burger King way (their way). I know the Lord is showing me I need to change my attitude about my challenges. I can look at my daughters--all of them--in a more positive light when I think of what part of God's image they were made to show the world. That's a great praise!

And I have a great prayer request. We need a house that fits our family. And our budget. The two seem to not mesh well and I know it simply has to be the Lord who works it all out. We're trying to be especially careful not to put ourselves in a financial bind, especially with this crazy economy. I know it's also important for Shane to have the time to invest in our daughters' lives (not the company's bottom line) since research has shown for years that dads being close to their daughters means the daughters don't have the need to get close to boyfriends. So, we've spent the last few weeks looking into several options: Building on our land, putting a manufactured home on our land, and even buying a home in a different location while waiting out the economic storm. We looked today at a dream house (mostly for kicks) that if we could buy, we'd just sell our land and live there. We're basically testing all the doors to see what God will open for us. It's starting to feel there is no place for us (except government subsidized housing, lol) but I know that's not Truth. Please pray for us to find the right door and have the faith to walk through it.

Grace to you!

Birthday Girl

Happy 2nd Birthday Jaybird!

After waiting 11 long, hot days past my due date, Jay finally came around 8am on my Dad's birthday-2 years ago today. She is our miracle girl, born with a true knot in her umbilical cord. God protected her by keeping it from tightening up, which would have ended her little life.

A friend said she's never met a child as strong willed as Jay. I wonder what she'd say now that Jay has learned to say, "Noooo" at every turn! Jaybird is a busy, busy girl. She keeps us on our toes, that's for sure. She knows what she wants and she'll find a way to get it, whether it be her big sister's lip gloss, medicine from the high up medicine cabinet, or baby powder (her favorite thing in the world right now!).

Why I can't wash dishes -Jaybird always wants to. She also picks out her own clothes...

Honestly, Jay's high activity level is what scares me most about this new little one. What if she takes after Jaybird? I'll be so outnumbered-and exhausted!

Then last week I was catching up on the Audrey Caroline blog and read an off handed comment about a busy child-she was described as never living life halfway. I thought, "That's how I need to see Jay-in a positive light." So, now when I look at her being busy, dragging a chair across the kitchen to reach the Rolaids in the medicine cabinet, I think, "Yep, there's Jay, living life at full throttle." Given the fact that she could not be alive at all, I'll take full throttle any day.

Girls Only

Okay, Luke Holzmann, Scott & Shane, you just need to skip this post. There's your warning!

Until a few years ago, I didn't mind buying Wal-Mart clothes. It is the only place in town, but it seems their quality is just going down the tubes. Their stuff is too thin or unravels as soon as it gets washed. The George label seems to be okay, but I've sworn off most all their other clothes. I've even stopped buying the basics-like undies-there. I did buy a bra a few months ago but the underwire is already poking out. So I decided to go shopping online for those girlie necessities. I didn't know exactly where to start, but a google search landed me at http://www.herroom.com/.

I needed a good bra for the rest of this pregnancy and Wal-Mart rarely has the right combination of cup & band size for me--especially as my rib cage expands in the last months. I'm trying to move away from frumpy clothes (even those no one sees) and have a little more fun, so I was also seeking some new underoos.

At Her Room, I easily found my size and what a selection! They have a ton of categories and once you click on an item it shows views of each item from the front & back. If you're looking at a bra, it will show you overlays of common collar cuts so you can see if it will show if you wear a V-neck, for instance. My favorite part is that there are ratings & comments on each product. The commenters also tell you their body size so you can see if other women with your similar shape loved or hated an item. Isn't that so cool? It's like shopping with a girl friend but not ever leaving the house!

So, if you need some new undergarbs, you now know were to go. I know, I know...you don't have to thank me. I take it as my job to keep you covered on all the important things in life :)

Editing to add: I must recant the "For Girls Only" part...not only does it just mean the boys will have to read it, but I just saw there is a "His Room" part of the site...just please don't tell me guys if you order any of those swim suits-especially the pink one-are those ribbons hanging down?

Not a Therapy Session

Look at her favorite pillow-it was Shane's when he was a kid! She refuses to let us put a pillow case on it and no one is allowed to use it but her! Very funny.

Although I do need some therapy (I just can't get the issues all straight enough in my head to write about yet), I thought I'd just give a little update on life in our house.

Our bed is now only occupied by me (and occasionally Shane) at night. Jaybird has left the nest. When I went to Austin, she obviously didn't sleep with me (since she didn't go) so the week after, she slept with her sisters for a few nights. With much protest on the first 2 nights, by the way. The 3rd night was much better, she just demanded that Ashlyn let her "walk the dogs" on the Nintendo DS. A lot. Those are now some lean dogs! Then Saturday night, we put together the VW Bug toddler bed some great friends gave us. She wasn't thrilled with the idea, but cracked a little smile as we tucked her in. Back in my bed alone, I cried. I missed my snuggle girl and knew she missed snuggling, too. The next day she took a nap with Shane (in our bed) and refused to move off his arm to her own pillow! She had to soak in the snuggle time!

This morning, about 6:30, she crawled in bed with me. Her toes were frozen, so maybe that's why. I kind of hope that's why. I love her in there, but I'm preparing for life with a newborn and need my other kids to stay put once she's here.


In other news, we saw Dark Knight last night. We tried to watch it Saturday night but it was sold out. We drove over an hour and just ended up going to Target. So yesterday we bought our tickets online. I wouldn't have given it 5 stars like the reviews I read did. It wasn't great but wasn't horrible either. It was too drawn out but Heath Ledger did a fabulous job as the Joker. My opinion, wait for it on DVD.

Today is my brother in law's 29th birthday. When Shane & I met, he was 12. Wow.

We found out last week that my sister in law has colon cancer. She starts radiation this week. My heart is heavy for my brother and sister in law-this is (thankfully) the first serious thing they've ever faced.

Also found out a dear friend has Lyme disease. Lots of health related prayering going on at our house!

I have about four weeks of work left. I know it will be a bitter-sweet transition.

I have about 15 weeks left before we meet Audrey (no middle name yet). I'm starting to get a little uncomfortable-heart burn, breathlessness and so on. The broad ligaments are a pain-they hurt more often than I remember. Other than that, I feel great. I only get nauseated when I'm in the heat and it passes fast. I've gained seven pounds.

Still no sugar in my diet since June 9th. It's easier than the first weeks. Mostly I don't think about it. When I need something sweet, a ripe peach or a Kashi cookie does the trick (Kashi doesn't use refined, white sugar).

I'm reading Timothy again. Boy Paul is opinionated and long winded. His sentences go on and on and on...it's good stuff though.

Grace to you (as Paul would say)!

Homebody

The girls have been invited to about 3 places this weekend and my response to the invites gives me pause. Read on if you enjoy my private therapy sessions with myself.

I've been trying to analyze my habit of being home more than "out and about". I am realizing that I'm home more than anyone I know, and I like it that way, but it tends to collide with other people's plans sometimes. It also makes me feel a little backwards, so I'm blogging about it to work it out in my own mind. Keep in mind working part time paired with school in the mornings takes up a lot of time.

First to consider are the logistical aspects of me getting out. I have five children here, essentially a set of 2 year old twins (my cousin's Adri is only 6 weeks older than my Jay). If we are out during Shane's work week, I'm the only adult. Being outnumbered is no fun in my eyes. I don't have a friend who's single, kid free, and ready to go run around at a moment's notice, so there's very little fun involved in the whole thing. Quite the opposite. My children have well thought out debates regarding who gets to sit where in the van. Even Jay has started fully rebelling against her car seat (to no avail, but with much spanking sometimes). Getting all the diaper bags and stuff (Polly Pockets, DS game, whatever) to the car and then back out once we get home is another chore I don't exactly cherish. You know that stuff grows while you happily (or not so happily) move on down the road. It takes 2 trips to get it all out!

Maneuvering around nap time is also a challenge. We don't go by strict schedules, but the babies sleep until roughly 10ish and then go back down in the afternoon. It ain't pretty to mess up a 2 year old's nap-and surely it is miserable to mess up two 2 year olds' naps.

So, how about just running a child or two to another person's house for a few hours? Sounds great and very normal. Yet my first thoughts are to reject this idea at all costs. I know part of this is totally my own issue (yet I don't really know why yet).

This is what has really made me think about my home-habit. What I've come up with so far is that we are really busy at home. (What is everyone else doing? How do y'all have time to spare???) We are still doing some light school work most week day mornings. When we're working through a family read aloud, that's an evening thing, so one of the older girls being out means no reading that night. Karate 2 nights a week and life group takes 3 nights out in a row for family reading. Maybe I work my kids too hard (I doubt it though), but they have responsibilities at home. Keeping Adri is mostly their job, they have animals to tend to and we work throughout the day at keeping the house semi-clean. Our biggest pursuit right now is to keep Jay from biting Adri. This takes man power and when my men, ahem, girls, are out, I feel the loss.

Also, there's always the after effects of an older sister being gone. I guess because we homeschool they aren't really used to one sister being gone while they have to be home. While I completely understand that at times it's very appropriate for only one girl to be invited somewhere, I catch a lot of flack from the sisters who have to stay home.

So, to tally that up, it means I'm left with one less big girl helper and the ones left behind whine to me and bite each other. Sounds peachy, huh?

The ironic thing is, I don't necessarily love being home. If given a choice of a day at home with Shane or a day running errands, exploring the town's little shops, and hanging together, I'd easily choose the out and about day-with no children :) I don't have a home I relish being in all day, but it is the easiest way for us.

Even the entire family going somewhere fun for the day is a huge sacrifice-it takes up many of the few precious hours we get with Daddy and our ongoing need-to-get-done list only gets longer. It has to be a really great thing for all involved or it probably won't happen. Not that we're slave drivers and stay home to get things done every weekend, but without a husband home & able to do stuff in the evenings, it's just reality that we end up hanging around the house on his weekends-both the get stuff done and just to enjoy each other in our own environment.

As I re-read what I have tried to explain, I realize it's pretty much all about me! I don't like the hassle of taking a car full of kids all around town, I don't like being left with the ankle biters, and I don't like our to-do list being neglected. I have agendas for most days and I want to stick to them (rarely happens perfectly). So, is it just "how I do it" or is it selfishness?

Just and edit to add that I was talking to a friend on the phone this morning sharing my little struggle about this and she and I touched on the aspect of it being a totally different dynamic taking your 11 year old to a friend's when I also have little bitty ones in tow. Most people have kids in a closer age range. Not sure this makes a difference to anyone but me, but there ya go ;)

I feel the need...

...to explain the new link in my side bar. People are starting to ask me what I need and really, with four big sisters all we need is space! That hardly satisfies the grandparents, though, so I have thought of a few things that would be nice. I know registries can rub people the wrong way, but I'm just trying to get out of a shower here :)

Seriously, we only need a handful of things and to be very open, we don't need a whole lot of things-like blankets, for example. We have a full to the brim storage tote loaded down with beautiful baby quilts. We've not opened it in years-since we continue to circulate the same dozen or so we've received with our last babies. Yes, this baby can have a few of her own, but that's all we'll need. Same idea for clothes, bibs, toys, and so on. We try to live simply and are currently squished into a 2 bedroom/1 bath house. Besides, don't most of you moms of many realize with each new baby you truly need less and less stuff?

On the other hand, it was quite fun to put together a small registry. I've not done that since our wedding days! This is probably my last one...so have fun with it, too :)

FYI: I put some nursing clothes on there and will probably go update it as the fall clothes come out.

Do you think less of me for putting this out there? Don't answer that :)

Edit: Just so you know, the original link took you right to my own page with my full name. I altered the the html code and now it just goes to the page. You have to know my first & last name to see my registry. The friends' password is baby5

Teaching our children: environment

As I've been pondering teaching our little ones, I've been trying to break the process down into bite size pieces. First you must have a home in which learning can occur naturally. If in order to learn, you have to first stop all the usual commotion in the house, you'll rarely take the effort to set up a learning time. For instance, if you are a high TV use home, and the kids are accustomed to it being on all the time, you'll have a hard time convincing them to turn off the bright & colorful TV to listen to a story. Children under two, by the way, have no business in front of a TV.

So, aim each day to have simple home, with the TV off (and the game stations, iPods, Radio Disney, and so on). Have on hand fun learning toys-not expensive ones, home made play dough will do just fine. Make it together for even more fun! Some good things to have around (for little ones):
Play dough
Bubbles
Cups for filling/dumping in the sink
Board books
Fun music like Veggie Tales CDs (We like the worship CD & the Campfire Songs)
Art supplies: finger paints, safety scissors & construction paper
Board games like Candy Land, Chutes & Ladders, Memory
Dress up clothes-find great additions at thrift stores and on sale after Halloween

Make a regular time to read to your child. The earlier the better. Remember, it's not the point to get through the whole story, just to make books fun. Until mine are around 3-4, we just read the little one-liner board books and spend much time pointing out butterflies, moo-cows, birds, and trees in the pictures. A tickle time or a favorite snack paired up with reading will help your child associate good feelings with books.

As you go about your day, include your child. Talk to him or her about what you are doing. Even from an early age when they're too young to even understand, they can learn the sounds of the English language, it's rhythms and cadences. They love to hear you talk.

When you're at the store and your child points at the oranges, say, "Yes, that's an orange. Feel it's skin." Point out colors, shapes, names of things, and textures. Don't worry about what the couple behind you might think, they're thankful your child is getting attention and not causing a scene by throwing a fit (all of ours do at times, by the way!).

As you observe things in nature-trees, birds, the moon and so on, point them out and say, "That's the moon, and God made the moon. God also made Mommy & Daddy, and you!" Later you can quiz the child and say, "Who made you? Who made Mommy? Who made the stars?"

Teach little ones (even around age 2) that we pray to God. Involve them in prayers, ask them to bow their heads (but don't expect it to be done the whole time, every time) and expect them to be quiet during prayer time. We pray when we hear a siren near our house, and all our children take turns praying for the situation, as well as blessing the food at meals and praying for other needs as they arise. Jaybird may not know what we are doing when we pray, but she will insist we hold hands and bow our heads before we eat-a habit that will grow as she understands more later.

There are several things you're tying to accomplish in the very early years: obedience to your authority, a love of learning, and a love for God. By creating a calm, peaceful home full of learning opportunities and by pointing out who God is at every turn, you'll easily reach the second two goals.

Does anything about this make you feel silly or nervous? You must get past your own hangups if this is to be a lasting endeavor in your home. Pray about your misgivings-God is not the author of confusion, he wants you to master this! Remember your authority and responsibility to teach your child. Get started and don't look back! It's the best investment you can make!

I want to say thanks to my friend who so openly shares her struggles with having the confidence to teach her young ones. I appreciate her honesty. She's helped me think through this process and hopefully together we can break it down so it's not so scary!

Parental Influence

I think many parents fully underestimate their ability to guide/teach their children. I'm not just talking homeschooling here.

Our pastor has been heavily convicted that parents are the key to the best spiritual teaching of their children. He explains that there is a connect that happens when it's the parent teaching that is absent when the teacher is not the parent. Our church leadership is looking at spending resources on equipping parents to do this instead of keeping all the plates spinning for a Sunday School program.

At the conference I went to this week, the speakers all said over and over that the best way to impart the purity message to children is to have the parents do it.

As a homeschooling mother, I do wish everyone would take these ideas one step further. If parents are the best to impart both spiritual & sexual values, then why not academics as well? I'm not saying everyone should homeschool, I'm just asking for some credibility for homeschoolers and more involvement in the schools for public schooled kids. There's nothing different from teaching social studies than teaching Bible stories.

Our culture has adopted some faulty ideas. We've exalted our experts to too high a pedestal. We don't take much ownership of our health care since, after all the doctor is the expert. Same thing with our children's education. Many parents blindly hand their children to the school system at the ripe age of 4 and go about their days fully trusting that whatever the school system does must be okay since they are the experts at education, after all.

The Bible says marriage was meant to create godly offspring. It doesn't say the church and school were created to make godly offspring. If God trusted parents with the most important education of all (a spiritual one) than why do parents buy into the lie that they can't do it?

Parents, not only can you teach your children the most important things in life, but you (we) have to! Look at our culture-do you want the culture to teach your children?

Be involved, be educated about the issues, trust your instincts! Don't feel like homeschooling is for your family? Fine, but be like my friends and get involved in the school you child is in. Don't just leave it up to the overworked and underpaid teacher. She's part of your tool chest of resources, but it's not her job alone. Need help teaching your children spiritual truths? Resources abound on great sites like Focus on the Family and CBD.com. Feel your child needs more help? Get good people around you to strategize and find solutions, don't just shrug and expect the teacher/doctor/youth leader to fix it.

How's that for a soap box? You can tell it's a huge issue for me when parents stick their heads in the sand on the issues I discussed above. Our kids deserve to have informed and involved parents. Don't you think so?