Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Baby Audrey

I stumbled upon a link over at Fussypant's blog, I think. The link just said, "Amazing."

I clicked on it and have been steadily reading it for a few nights. I'm so moved by it. I wish I'd read it as it was happening instead of catching up. I've been trying to think of how to share it here, but I can't figure out how to describe it. Part of me wants to keep it to myself, to ponder it in my heart. I think that's out of fear. Shane doesn't know I've been reading it, he wouldn't approve if he did. I plan to introduce him to it when the time is right.

Maybe you already know all about the story of Selah's Todd Smith and his wife Angie. She was given the most terrible news at her 20 week sonogram. Now you see why Shane wouldn't want me to read it right now. I'm just a couple weeks from my own 20 week sono. We've walked with a friend down this road. Shane met Danny and we prayed for a healing before he was born. We know it's real, you know? We know a long life isn't promised. By exposing you to this blog, I guess I'm letting you in on my own fears. It's like saying it out loud. Yes I'm afraid of losing one of my children. As I sobbed through this blog, I would sometimes think, "God, please don't call me to do that. I can't do that." Oh, the pain of just the thought is so hard.

This blog lets you see into the heart of a mom going through the one thing we all fear the most. Angie is so very open, honest, and worshipful through the process. The day before her scheduled C-section, Angie was presenting the gospel to her blog readers. Amazing woman. Now I know why the other blog just wrote "Amazing" and left it at that.

9 comments:

Supermom2JakeAndEmmy said...

I am in tears listening to my children playing in the next room. I couldn't cope with something like that. What an amazing, strong, woman of God. On a side note, Ronnie wouldn't let me read something like that during my pregnancy either . . . what is it with our men?

Anonymous said...

As a mother of a child with special medical needs, I live with this fear daily. It is something I try not to dwell on, but it is really hard to not think about it when you know that one wrong move could end it all.

Leah

Summer said...

I read her whole blog from beginning to end on Saturday. I just couldn't stop. It was gut-wrenching and awe-inspiring. Just wow. It makes me feel guilty for days when I have pity parties and when I see others around me doing the same thing for no apparent reason. I know nothing of heartache, and I so admire those who do and can still radiate the peace and joy of our God.

Wendy said...

Summer, that's exactly how I felt. I had to stop because I was reading at night, but I was so drawn to read more. You worded my reaction perfectly. It seems morbid, in a way, to say, "Go read this sad story", but it's so rich with God's hand and her love for God...

i'mDmommy said...

Ok Wendy, I don't know why I didn't read this entry but since you mentioned it I am going to that blog! I will post when I am through! Thanks for mentioning my boy!!!

i'mDmommy said...

ok...i have read the whole story know and am blown away!!! EVERY word she said could have been written by ME!! I mean it...word for word! I have now revisited January 4, 2005 thru April 15,2005!!!!!!!

i'mDmommy said...

I am emailing her now!

Wendy said...

D, your story is meant to be told. That's why God keeps bringing it up. Did you notice the link in her sidebar that is to other stories like hers? I didn't click on it, but thought of you when I saw it.

Blessings my strong friend. Love you!

i'mDmommy said...

Her email addy is not good :(