I stumbled upon a link over at Fussypant's blog, I think. The link just said, "Amazing."
I clicked on it and have been steadily reading it for a few nights. I'm so moved by it. I wish I'd read it as it was happening instead of catching up. I've been trying to think of how to share it here, but I can't figure out how to describe it. Part of me wants to keep it to myself, to ponder it in my heart. I think that's out of fear. Shane doesn't know I've been reading it, he wouldn't approve if he did. I plan to introduce him to it when the time is right.
Maybe you already know all about the story of Selah's Todd Smith and his wife Angie. She was given the most terrible news at her 20 week sonogram. Now you see why Shane wouldn't want me to read it right now. I'm just a couple weeks from my own 20 week sono. We've walked with a friend down this road. Shane met Danny and we prayed for a healing before he was born. We know it's real, you know? We know a long life isn't promised. By exposing you to this blog, I guess I'm letting you in on my own fears. It's like saying it out loud. Yes I'm afraid of losing one of my children. As I sobbed through this blog, I would sometimes think, "God, please don't call me to do that. I can't do that." Oh, the pain of just the thought is so hard.
This blog lets you see into the heart of a mom going through the one thing we all fear the most. Angie is so very open, honest, and worshipful through the process. The day before her scheduled C-section, Angie was presenting the gospel to her blog readers. Amazing woman. Now I know why the other blog just wrote "Amazing" and left it at that.