As I'm going about my life these days, I keep running into a new movement. The Slow Movement. I think I like it. Not sure how to grab hold of it, but I want to anyway.
I've specifically read about Slow Food-an opposition to fast food. The general idea is to establish American food traditions that honor where our food comes from (the farmer, not the factory). The image I get is a family around a table taking much pleasure in each other and their day's stories as they enjoy food that's simmered on the stove all day. Doesn't that sound so much better than a harried momma barking an order at MickeyD's drive through? I've done both, and believe me the feelings you get from circling your family around the table with home cooked food are beyond good.
Another slow movement is Slow Birth. There's a lot of pressure to give birth by the due date (even though two weeks after is considered "on time"), and then to get labor moving fast. In most cases, there's not a great reason to be induced, especially before term. Babies need time. I hear mommas all the time hope for an early delivery, but even just a couple of weeks can be too early for some babies and they have trouble breathing. Wait. Wait on the baby to be ready. And birth-why does there have to be set time for a mom to deliver if she's progressing? This is why many women are birthing at home or at least out of the hospital. They just want time. They want their body to do what it was made to do, without pressure of an arbitrary schedule leading to interventions.
So, I know these two things are pretty unrelated, but the topic of slow has me thinking. I want to slow down and savor. Savor my children. My husband in our youth (while it's slipping away!), fully take in the people around me at any given moment. Not thinking of the next thing which often so characterizes my life, but digging in and living today.
Slowly.
Today.
Savoring.
Showing posts with label simple lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label simple lifestyle. Show all posts
Friday, September 25, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
How I Got Green
How's that for a grammatically incorrect title?
In the rural south, Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle doesn't fit the Redneck philosophy unless you consider reusing a toilet or old tire as lawn art.
We all know green is in. My friends know I don't usually like fads until they're almost out. So it takes me a while to like things...I'm just now able to stomach those humongous sunglasses.
Yet I find myself a little ahead of the game in the green department (well, for a Republican small town Southerner anyway!). This left even me scratching my head, so I've been thinking about how I arrived here. Just for clarification-here is defined as the state of desiring simplicity, natural foods, cleaners and meds if possible, wastelessness, and good stewardship.
When I married, I didn't like the idea of artificial hormones as birth control so we used NFP. This might be the first step in a more natural lifestyle. Childbirth methods followed (still in a hospital, but no epidural-but bring on the opiates!). I breastfed all our girls, and not just for a few months. After a few years, we discovered whole foods eating but were otherwise average Americans in everything else. As a matter of fact, I was so staunchly pro-immunization at that point I am sure any parents behind on their child's immunizations could see the smoke coming from my ears as I fumed about their negligence.
As we added more children, I grew more comfortable with midwife assisted births, although I never had one. I learned that our "natural" parenting philosophy had a name (attachment parenting) and I was exposed to many VERY green lifestyle choices. Some of these are quite wild-like not only cloth diapers, but cloth feminine products (in addition to the Diva Cup and similar items), and family cloth. After our second child was a toddler, I really started to dig in and study immunizations. We've since selected a delayed/selective immunization plan.
Most recently, I've been introduced to the crazy idea of living without paper towels! I already try to keep paper plates and cups to a minimum, but no paper towels? Well, I've tried to use less but I don't know how I could go without. I'm also more aware of the issues with plastic water bottles, plastic bags, and dishes (I now own two Klean Kanteens thanks to my bank's Reward Points). I'd like to use reusable shopping bags but honestly am a little self conscious about it. I want to buy some of the groovy bags from Central Market-maybe their cuteness will motivate me to fight the pride.
For me, the bottom line is more about saving money for our family and giving my family the best food we can afford (not organic at this moment, but not prepackaged junk either). I hate spending so much money on paper goods that only end up in the trash (toilet paper, paper towels, diapers, wipes, feminine products, paper plates...). And before you start thinking it's not that much, after all, remember our family size and consider how much toilet paper a house full of girls uses!
It stings a little that my desired lifestyle collides with the most liberal folks on the planet. Hey, it even stings that I now have one tiny area I'm sorta trendy in. Why is it the conservatives, Christians, and Republicans tend to lean so far away from good stewardship of the environment and our personal resources? I confess for me it was that I didn't want to identify myself with tree huggers and Al Gore. Or PETA. So I felt no remorse in running the other way. Yet somehow, I've run into myself heading the other way.
What do you think of all the green fads? Where are you on the green scale? Or do you just want instructions on how to build a flower potty?
In the rural south, Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle doesn't fit the Redneck philosophy unless you consider reusing a toilet or old tire as lawn art.
We all know green is in. My friends know I don't usually like fads until they're almost out. So it takes me a while to like things...I'm just now able to stomach those humongous sunglasses.
Yet I find myself a little ahead of the game in the green department (well, for a Republican small town Southerner anyway!). This left even me scratching my head, so I've been thinking about how I arrived here. Just for clarification-here is defined as the state of desiring simplicity, natural foods, cleaners and meds if possible, wastelessness, and good stewardship.
When I married, I didn't like the idea of artificial hormones as birth control so we used NFP. This might be the first step in a more natural lifestyle. Childbirth methods followed (still in a hospital, but no epidural-but bring on the opiates!). I breastfed all our girls, and not just for a few months. After a few years, we discovered whole foods eating but were otherwise average Americans in everything else. As a matter of fact, I was so staunchly pro-immunization at that point I am sure any parents behind on their child's immunizations could see the smoke coming from my ears as I fumed about their negligence.
As we added more children, I grew more comfortable with midwife assisted births, although I never had one. I learned that our "natural" parenting philosophy had a name (attachment parenting) and I was exposed to many VERY green lifestyle choices. Some of these are quite wild-like not only cloth diapers, but cloth feminine products (in addition to the Diva Cup and similar items), and family cloth. After our second child was a toddler, I really started to dig in and study immunizations. We've since selected a delayed/selective immunization plan.
Most recently, I've been introduced to the crazy idea of living without paper towels! I already try to keep paper plates and cups to a minimum, but no paper towels? Well, I've tried to use less but I don't know how I could go without. I'm also more aware of the issues with plastic water bottles, plastic bags, and dishes (I now own two Klean Kanteens thanks to my bank's Reward Points). I'd like to use reusable shopping bags but honestly am a little self conscious about it. I want to buy some of the groovy bags from Central Market-maybe their cuteness will motivate me to fight the pride.
For me, the bottom line is more about saving money for our family and giving my family the best food we can afford (not organic at this moment, but not prepackaged junk either). I hate spending so much money on paper goods that only end up in the trash (toilet paper, paper towels, diapers, wipes, feminine products, paper plates...). And before you start thinking it's not that much, after all, remember our family size and consider how much toilet paper a house full of girls uses!
It stings a little that my desired lifestyle collides with the most liberal folks on the planet. Hey, it even stings that I now have one tiny area I'm sorta trendy in. Why is it the conservatives, Christians, and Republicans tend to lean so far away from good stewardship of the environment and our personal resources? I confess for me it was that I didn't want to identify myself with tree huggers and Al Gore. Or PETA. So I felt no remorse in running the other way. Yet somehow, I've run into myself heading the other way.
What do you think of all the green fads? Where are you on the green scale? Or do you just want instructions on how to build a flower potty?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
My cyber friend Megan over at SortaCrunchy is participating in a groovy diaper chatter carnival hosted by Momfessions. I'm waiting for my hair-in-curlers to dry, so I thought I'd dive in...never mind that Shane needs his pants pressed for tonight's Pregnancy Center's Fundraising Gala...this is much more important!I had never thought about cloth diapering in a positive way since swishing my little brother's poopy diapers in the toilet as a teen. No way would I use cloth diapers! Of course, no one I knew in real life or on the web was using cloth back when I had my first couple of girls.
Then a friend started the cloth diapering talk. I looked into it when I was pregnant with Jaika (number 4) but was quickly turned off by all the different types, their abbreviations, the lingo...too much!
Then another friend called and asked if I was interested in cloth diapers. I had been a little desensitized to them by this point, but wasn't ready to do all the investigating to figure out which ones to buy, nor did I have the funds for them. When I told my friend that I was indeed interested but only if they landed on my front porch, she said, "Great, I think these will look great on your porch!"
Thus started my CD-ing lifestyle. By this time, Jaika was about a year old. Some of the diapers needed some mending so I pulled out my Singer and attempted to replace elastic. I also made some crude cloth wipes. I was so proud! Hubby wasn't so sure, but like with many of my strange ideas, he's sweet enough to just play along.
When I found out I was pregnant with Audrey, I knew I needed absolutely nothing. How could we have any needs when she had 4 sisters to pass things down to her? So I asked for new cloth diapers. My friends came through in a HUGE way and blessed me with enough to use for Audrey full time.
They bought BumGenius 3.0s after I used a now discontinued brand of pocket diapers with Jaika. I love them and use them almost all the time. Jaika is also still in her pocket diapers for naps & bedtimes-she's in Dora the Explorer panties the rest of the time.
I love using cloth. I feel good not putting the chemicals used in diapers next to my baby's skin. I feel good not just throwing money away on what will just end up in the trash. Even cheap diapers are expensive, especially when the cost over the long haul is calculated.
If you're interested in cloth but not so keen on spending so much money up front for diapers, consider requesting them as your main baby gift. After all, clothes are a dime a dozen at thrift stores. What else does a baby need but diapers, clothes, a sling and a momma? (Okay, this 5th baby really needed a swing, but my good buddy Jennifer took care of that, lol.)
Oh, and I still don't swish. I use rice paper liners in the toddler diapers-they're flushable paper that line the diaper so you can just lift the poop out and flush it.
Okay, off to get ready for our big evening!
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Biggie-Forgiveness of Self
A few weeks ago I posted the redemption story I'd experienced with my good friend. Out of that post a question came up about the hardest part of forgiveness, forgiveness of self.
When we are part of the problem and have come to admit it, the next obstacle is moving past the phase of beating ourselves up and into forgiveness. It's complex, abstract, and individual. It can even be a stronghold of the devil.
I write from my primary experience with this, through watching other women as they walk the road of abortion recovery. Much of my framework for this topic flows from this point of view, but the principles here can apply to many situations. Also, this is hardly an exhaustive coverage, but more like a springboard to get you thinking and praying.
Consider these things as you work through forgiving yourself:
Are you placing yourself higher than God? Often it is easier to allow God to forgive us (if this is not the case for you, please talk to a mature believer about it) than for us to let go of our sin. If the God of the universe, maker of heaven & earth has removed our sin, who are we to hold tightly to it? We then put ourselves in the place of ignorantly acting as we know better than God.
Our sin has become our pet. It's more comfortable to become the victim of our sin, to know all its ins and outs, to be the resident expert on it. This is actually entrapment! What growth lies ahead for the person who can look to the future and not to the past! Sure, use your past as a testimony for what the Lord can do, share it to minister to other people, but don't let it be your only story-there's more life ahead, don't miss it! Don't get so comfortable with the grief that you enjoy wrapping yourself warmly in it-let it go, there's freedom in shedding the layers!
Is your sin tied to something or someone you don't want to forget? Sometimes women don't want to heal fully from their abortion because they're afraid they'll forget their baby. Forgiving and forgetting aren't the same at all, my friend. Instead of a memory thick with guilt and condemnation, the memory of the sin (or the other people/places involved) will become a beautiful, built-from-the-ashes kind of memory. If you want a tangible memory, consider journaling about it, planting a tree in the honor of the aborted child (or appropriate person) or making a donation in honor/memory of the event or person involved.
Are you punishing yourself? Many women punish themselves when they avoid steps to healing, especially after an abortion. They feel if the world won't punish them, then they'll just do it themselves. Consequences of sin, such as a broken marriage as the consequence of adultery are not punishment, but consequences. God does not punish us after he's granted us forgiveness, therefore we have no business punishing ourselves.
The devil has his hand in it. This is not an "if" this is a fact. If the devil can keep you stuck he will. He will therefore diminish your ability to find peace and to use your pain to minister to others. Remember to see him as he is-a forfeit, the king of lies, your vilest enemy. Don't play into his hand!
Your Father wants you to have life and have it abundantly-which means not walking around with your head hung down in guilt & shame. Once you walk with your head held high, you can see all the hurting people who need the hope of your story. Don't hand the "life abundant" part over to the devil!
I'll leave you with this scripture:
Isaiah 61:1-4 (New International Version)
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long ago devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.
This is a hard topic to face. If you want someone to bounce things off of, to ask questions or to pray with you, feel free to email me at allgirlhomeschool@yahoo.com. A wonderful study on the subject of forgiveness is Beth Moore's Breaking Free.
When we are part of the problem and have come to admit it, the next obstacle is moving past the phase of beating ourselves up and into forgiveness. It's complex, abstract, and individual. It can even be a stronghold of the devil.
I write from my primary experience with this, through watching other women as they walk the road of abortion recovery. Much of my framework for this topic flows from this point of view, but the principles here can apply to many situations. Also, this is hardly an exhaustive coverage, but more like a springboard to get you thinking and praying.
Consider these things as you work through forgiving yourself:
Are you placing yourself higher than God? Often it is easier to allow God to forgive us (if this is not the case for you, please talk to a mature believer about it) than for us to let go of our sin. If the God of the universe, maker of heaven & earth has removed our sin, who are we to hold tightly to it? We then put ourselves in the place of ignorantly acting as we know better than God.
Our sin has become our pet. It's more comfortable to become the victim of our sin, to know all its ins and outs, to be the resident expert on it. This is actually entrapment! What growth lies ahead for the person who can look to the future and not to the past! Sure, use your past as a testimony for what the Lord can do, share it to minister to other people, but don't let it be your only story-there's more life ahead, don't miss it! Don't get so comfortable with the grief that you enjoy wrapping yourself warmly in it-let it go, there's freedom in shedding the layers!
Is your sin tied to something or someone you don't want to forget? Sometimes women don't want to heal fully from their abortion because they're afraid they'll forget their baby. Forgiving and forgetting aren't the same at all, my friend. Instead of a memory thick with guilt and condemnation, the memory of the sin (or the other people/places involved) will become a beautiful, built-from-the-ashes kind of memory. If you want a tangible memory, consider journaling about it, planting a tree in the honor of the aborted child (or appropriate person) or making a donation in honor/memory of the event or person involved.
Are you punishing yourself? Many women punish themselves when they avoid steps to healing, especially after an abortion. They feel if the world won't punish them, then they'll just do it themselves. Consequences of sin, such as a broken marriage as the consequence of adultery are not punishment, but consequences. God does not punish us after he's granted us forgiveness, therefore we have no business punishing ourselves.
The devil has his hand in it. This is not an "if" this is a fact. If the devil can keep you stuck he will. He will therefore diminish your ability to find peace and to use your pain to minister to others. Remember to see him as he is-a forfeit, the king of lies, your vilest enemy. Don't play into his hand!
Your Father wants you to have life and have it abundantly-which means not walking around with your head hung down in guilt & shame. Once you walk with your head held high, you can see all the hurting people who need the hope of your story. Don't hand the "life abundant" part over to the devil!
I'll leave you with this scripture:
Isaiah 61:1-4 (New International Version)
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long ago devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.
This is a hard topic to face. If you want someone to bounce things off of, to ask questions or to pray with you, feel free to email me at allgirlhomeschool@yahoo.com. A wonderful study on the subject of forgiveness is Beth Moore's Breaking Free.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Unschooling
Today in our town sleet has covered the ground. Schools are closed for the second day in a row. It's not beautiful and snowy, but if you squint really hard it looks like it :)
Because of my public school upbringing, snow days are ingrained in me. It's a little hard to get moving in the allgirlhomeschool school house today. My longings are to put on some beans (done!) and curl up under the blankets with a great read-aloud. Yet the school schedule beckons me. We're behind schedule and even though it's 42 degrees outside, summer is around the corner and I'd like some time off then.
Instead of completely abandoning the schedule (which is fully appropriate at times) today we're enjoying the road less traveled. We are starting out by sketching the view from our dining room window, trying to capture the icy look. Our bird feeders are empty so we'll probably roll some pine cones in peanut butter & birdseed. Maybe put on some classical music. We've already looked up winter poems to add to our sketches. While we eat lunch I'll probably go ahead with some items on the schedule but not obsess about checking each box today.
This evening's activities have been cancelled, so we'll take that time under the quilts to read Mountain Born, one of my favorite books about coming of age.
These are the days the girls will remember, not the days mom checked off all the boxes.
Are you box checking today? Is there something you've been wanting to indulge in but haven't taken the time? Maybe today is the day!
Because of my public school upbringing, snow days are ingrained in me. It's a little hard to get moving in the allgirlhomeschool school house today. My longings are to put on some beans (done!) and curl up under the blankets with a great read-aloud. Yet the school schedule beckons me. We're behind schedule and even though it's 42 degrees outside, summer is around the corner and I'd like some time off then.
Instead of completely abandoning the schedule (which is fully appropriate at times) today we're enjoying the road less traveled. We are starting out by sketching the view from our dining room window, trying to capture the icy look. Our bird feeders are empty so we'll probably roll some pine cones in peanut butter & birdseed. Maybe put on some classical music. We've already looked up winter poems to add to our sketches. While we eat lunch I'll probably go ahead with some items on the schedule but not obsess about checking each box today.
This evening's activities have been cancelled, so we'll take that time under the quilts to read Mountain Born, one of my favorite books about coming of age.
These are the days the girls will remember, not the days mom checked off all the boxes.
Are you box checking today? Is there something you've been wanting to indulge in but haven't taken the time? Maybe today is the day!
Friday, December 26, 2008
2009 Vision
I think it's important for moms, especially those who stay at home day in and day out to have a vision. The last year or so, I've had a vision for the year. Last year was Peace. I was in a funk emotionally and needed that peace. God showed me over & over last year much about peace.
This year, I feel He's prompting me to declare victory over some areas. I know I need victory over sugar. I would like victory over the details of handling our finances and staying on budget. I'm open to Him showing me more as the year goes on. This is not about making a perfect me in my strength, it's about allowing the Lord to grow me in whatever way he wants. It might be so small that no one else knows and that's okay, it's between me & my Lord :)
So, in keeping with this victory theme, here's what I'll be working on in 2009:
*Eating Fine in 2009 Challenge-no refined/artificial sugar
*Better Budgeting
Both of these will be spurred on by the Book Club I'm getting in on (see side bar button)-the first book is Your Money of Your Life. These books are cheap enough anyone can afford it, so go check it out at Simple Mom's site.
*Being on purpose more with the girls. Specifically: Ashlyn-touching more (it gets challenging when they aren't cuddly babies anymore), Hope-listening to better, Bethany-drawing her out more, Jaika-continuing to cuddle, Audrey-looking into her eyes & interacting, not multitasking.
*Stopping to smell the roses of my home-for me this means living more not just surviving. We have a bird feeder & new identification guides to help us get to know our feathered friends, I want to keep trying new recipes, and I'd like to do more crafts with the girls & maybe even just for my pleasure! (Denise get ready to come over & cook! I'm ready to get going!)
*Getting into the Word again (I'm not so good at this with a new baby!). I now own the One Year Chronological Bible, which I've been interested in for some time. Can't wait to get started-and I hope to make in past February this time!
*Finally, I need victory over my carpal tunnel. I've battled it for a few years, yet it went totally away when I was pregnant. I'm back to wearing the wrist braces but am still experiencing pain & numbness, which will keep me from learning some of the new crafts I am interested in. I plan to get a referral to a pain management doctor my OB uses for her carpal tunnel and if that doesn't work, I'm ready for surgery. I need my hands!
Does your family need Momma to have some vision? Does this idea get you excited or stress you out?
This year, I feel He's prompting me to declare victory over some areas. I know I need victory over sugar. I would like victory over the details of handling our finances and staying on budget. I'm open to Him showing me more as the year goes on. This is not about making a perfect me in my strength, it's about allowing the Lord to grow me in whatever way he wants. It might be so small that no one else knows and that's okay, it's between me & my Lord :)
So, in keeping with this victory theme, here's what I'll be working on in 2009:
*Eating Fine in 2009 Challenge-no refined/artificial sugar
*Better Budgeting
Both of these will be spurred on by the Book Club I'm getting in on (see side bar button)-the first book is Your Money of Your Life. These books are cheap enough anyone can afford it, so go check it out at Simple Mom's site.
*Being on purpose more with the girls. Specifically: Ashlyn-touching more (it gets challenging when they aren't cuddly babies anymore), Hope-listening to better, Bethany-drawing her out more, Jaika-continuing to cuddle, Audrey-looking into her eyes & interacting, not multitasking.
*Stopping to smell the roses of my home-for me this means living more not just surviving. We have a bird feeder & new identification guides to help us get to know our feathered friends, I want to keep trying new recipes, and I'd like to do more crafts with the girls & maybe even just for my pleasure! (Denise get ready to come over & cook! I'm ready to get going!)
*Getting into the Word again (I'm not so good at this with a new baby!). I now own the One Year Chronological Bible, which I've been interested in for some time. Can't wait to get started-and I hope to make in past February this time!
*Finally, I need victory over my carpal tunnel. I've battled it for a few years, yet it went totally away when I was pregnant. I'm back to wearing the wrist braces but am still experiencing pain & numbness, which will keep me from learning some of the new crafts I am interested in. I plan to get a referral to a pain management doctor my OB uses for her carpal tunnel and if that doesn't work, I'm ready for surgery. I need my hands!
Does your family need Momma to have some vision? Does this idea get you excited or stress you out?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Gifts & Frugality
I was just scanning my Google Reader before getting ready for bed and as I read D's thoughts on being financially skinny during gift-giving times, I thought I'd post on the subject as well.
Not only do we not have the fundage for big parties and lots of gifts, but we don't have the room to house the said gifts. We keep our kids' birthdays simple with family parties and a couple of gifts from us. Sometimes we have a friend or two over, but we still keep it simple. Oh, and we don't do overly practical gifts, but we don't do frivolous stuff either. We try hard to keep all gifts we give meaningful & useful to the receiver.
Christmas is a bigger deal-not that we buy more for our kids, but that it's even more important for me to keep it scaled down. Two years ago I counted up how many people usually give our kids gifts. Then I multiplied that by how many children we had at the time (4) and the total was about 60 gifts. Sixty! All of which have to go in ONE bedroom!
After she picked her jaw off the floor, my mom thankfully responded very well and has worked hard at coming up with gifts the girls like that don't take up much space-their favorite magazine subscriptions, for example. Last year she bought them each a cool beach towels-which they needed, but again they didn't take up much room.
Other family hasn't been so responsive. They have the strong opinion that kids need the thrill of opening lots of gifts, even if the gifts aren't especially needed, age appropriate, or in line with the decor or themes of our home (especially their room). I struggle with this, but I know their hearts are pure...they love our kids and want to bless them. They struggle with our minimalist giving so I guess we're even :)
With 60 gifts pouring in for our kids-more this year since Audrey will get some-what do we buy for our kids? Next to nothing! Aren't we terrible?!
We do some stocking gifts, and about 3 gifts a piece under the tree. The three gifts are of good quality, they are probably something the girls have asked for like books, games, or movies. I also try to do something sentimental. One year I did homemade aprons for each one, sometimes it's matching clothes...and then there's the Daddy Gift-he picks out one great gift, something like what Santa might bring. That's it-which is fine since even the stuff we get them gets lost in the pile of presents from everyone else.
One thing we try not to skimp on is gifts to each other. I know there are different ideas on this topic, but Shane & I have always bought each other gifts. We don't buy ourselves a lot during the year, so we save up those special purchases for Christmas. We still keep it simple, just a few items but with much thought and awareness of what the other one would be blessed by. We see it as a tangible statement of our love for each other displayed in front of our children. We all open gifts one at a time (at our home, not everywhere we go, much to our regret). We savor it and it takes a LONG time to do our 3 or so gifts each. We love it this way! We really want to see if the receiver likes our gift, we tell the story of how we picked it out, simply enjoying the process of loving on each other through gift giving.
So, is that frugal? I don't know...we don't charge our gifts, we try to use cash only. We keep it within a budget and we shop sales. We do homemade gifts when appropriate. We don't buy our little babies much-they don't know!
So, how do you do frugal gifts? Do you throw caution to the wind and do a big Christmas no matter what?
Not only do we not have the fundage for big parties and lots of gifts, but we don't have the room to house the said gifts. We keep our kids' birthdays simple with family parties and a couple of gifts from us. Sometimes we have a friend or two over, but we still keep it simple. Oh, and we don't do overly practical gifts, but we don't do frivolous stuff either. We try hard to keep all gifts we give meaningful & useful to the receiver.
Christmas is a bigger deal-not that we buy more for our kids, but that it's even more important for me to keep it scaled down. Two years ago I counted up how many people usually give our kids gifts. Then I multiplied that by how many children we had at the time (4) and the total was about 60 gifts. Sixty! All of which have to go in ONE bedroom!
After she picked her jaw off the floor, my mom thankfully responded very well and has worked hard at coming up with gifts the girls like that don't take up much space-their favorite magazine subscriptions, for example. Last year she bought them each a cool beach towels-which they needed, but again they didn't take up much room.
Other family hasn't been so responsive. They have the strong opinion that kids need the thrill of opening lots of gifts, even if the gifts aren't especially needed, age appropriate, or in line with the decor or themes of our home (especially their room). I struggle with this, but I know their hearts are pure...they love our kids and want to bless them. They struggle with our minimalist giving so I guess we're even :)
With 60 gifts pouring in for our kids-more this year since Audrey will get some-what do we buy for our kids? Next to nothing! Aren't we terrible?!
We do some stocking gifts, and about 3 gifts a piece under the tree. The three gifts are of good quality, they are probably something the girls have asked for like books, games, or movies. I also try to do something sentimental. One year I did homemade aprons for each one, sometimes it's matching clothes...and then there's the Daddy Gift-he picks out one great gift, something like what Santa might bring. That's it-which is fine since even the stuff we get them gets lost in the pile of presents from everyone else.
One thing we try not to skimp on is gifts to each other. I know there are different ideas on this topic, but Shane & I have always bought each other gifts. We don't buy ourselves a lot during the year, so we save up those special purchases for Christmas. We still keep it simple, just a few items but with much thought and awareness of what the other one would be blessed by. We see it as a tangible statement of our love for each other displayed in front of our children. We all open gifts one at a time (at our home, not everywhere we go, much to our regret). We savor it and it takes a LONG time to do our 3 or so gifts each. We love it this way! We really want to see if the receiver likes our gift, we tell the story of how we picked it out, simply enjoying the process of loving on each other through gift giving.
So, is that frugal? I don't know...we don't charge our gifts, we try to use cash only. We keep it within a budget and we shop sales. We do homemade gifts when appropriate. We don't buy our little babies much-they don't know!
So, how do you do frugal gifts? Do you throw caution to the wind and do a big Christmas no matter what?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
My path into weirdness
As I've stated before, I am kind of strange. Specifically, I'm a little bit of a granola girl. Since you asked (you didn't? oh, sorry), I thought I'd tell you how it all began.
I think I have a natural bend towards more basic, natural things. My earliest hippie memory is from college. Good old Community College. I was reading the English class essay on what happens to our bodies after death but before burial. I read all about the horrid things they do to make a dead body look not only alive, but formal-occasion-ready. I had no desire to have my post mortem eyelids glued down or my mouth wired shut (that one hurts me the most, lol). It just wasn't natural. Shane has strict orders to leave my body alone after death, just spray some Oust! on me and it'll be fine. Organic Oust!, that is.
There's just something in me that is drawn to the more natural, God-made ways of doing things. I don't like chemicals, additives, impostor foods (Velveeta is NOT cheese!) epidurals, fetal tissue in immunizations, MSG, bleach in my water, Splenda, margarine, artificial colors, tanning salons, fake nails, institutional thinking (one of my favorite movies is Patch Adams ).
That's why we homeschool, it just seems more natural. That's why we make a lot of our decisions. It just seems that the closer we do things to the way God designed them, the happier we'll be. I'm not saying eating MSG laden food is a sin, by any means. I'm just saying that by eating more natural food, keeping a simple lifestyle, choosing to support the little farmer's market instead of buying Wal-Mart's genetically modified fruit makes me feel better. I feel like a better keeper of my home if I'm searching out healthier dinner items, less toxic cleaning supplies, and nursing my babies while carrying them in a sling instead of relying on a mechanical device to entertain/soothe them all the time. It just feels more wholesome.
I'm not a purist at all. I still make mac and cheese with that not-even-close-to-real-cheese cheese. I like sugar. I love chocolate. But I'm slowly getting my household in a more natural place. Here's what I'm doing:
Mending some of our clothes instead of just buying new. I'm not good at it, but I won't get good unless I mess up (apparently I have to mess up a lot!).
Using the cloth diapers a friend gave me. I only plan to use them at home, but that should reduce the chemical exposure to my little one a lot while being much cheaper than using only disposables.
I just ordered a bottle of Chalie's Soap, which isn't soap but is a great residue-free laundry detergent without all the chemicals of typical store bought detergent. It's only 2 cents more a load for the natural stuff. Not bad. And it has a cool retro look to it!
Using vinegar instead of bleach in my laundry. When the laundry is dry, there's no odor left behind and it makes a great fabric softener.
I need to work on banning white flour and sugar from our diets, but dang-it, it's easier to do stuff that's fun and cute like playing with these cute diapers:
I don't own this one, but I wish I did, lol!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Stress Relief
I've been meaning to go in to more specifics about how I'm staying peaceful, but really it all boils down to the Lord's work in me. He's helping me handle a busy life with peace. Even though my life is busy, there's currently nothing in it I think is not ordained by God. We are considering cutting out one of the girls' extra activities, but everything else I'm doing-homeschooling, work, the Gala planning, watching Adri, Life Group, getting the girls to Awana, karate and so forth-we both feel they have God's stamp of approval. I point that out because our nation is too busy, Christians are too busy to get involved. We have to be careful or it'll kill us.
Okay, so one way I'm keeping the peace is by doing the Dave Ramsey plan. We worked the cash system especially well the first three weeks of the month. I dropped the ball midweek last week, but still didn't go over budget, I just simply spent from the debit card and didn't withdraw cash. It is so freeing to have my spending plan all laid out for the month. We purposefully plan our misc money so that it lasts and therefore we only spend it on what is important. I know how much I'm tithing, when in the month I'm writing those checks and to whom. I know I have a certain amount set aside for giving opportunities that might come up in the month. I got to spend some at the Project Show, investing in kids. I didn't have to tell my heart "no" when I saw a need, I could spend the money knowing it wouldn't leave me short on grocery money later in the month. I've never felt that free! I felt rich! We've often held back in fear and not given when we wanted because we didn't have a spending plan.
This plan has lifted a huge weight off our shoulders! This alone would help me feel less stressed, but there's more. I'll post about the other things soon!
Okay, so one way I'm keeping the peace is by doing the Dave Ramsey plan. We worked the cash system especially well the first three weeks of the month. I dropped the ball midweek last week, but still didn't go over budget, I just simply spent from the debit card and didn't withdraw cash. It is so freeing to have my spending plan all laid out for the month. We purposefully plan our misc money so that it lasts and therefore we only spend it on what is important. I know how much I'm tithing, when in the month I'm writing those checks and to whom. I know I have a certain amount set aside for giving opportunities that might come up in the month. I got to spend some at the Project Show, investing in kids. I didn't have to tell my heart "no" when I saw a need, I could spend the money knowing it wouldn't leave me short on grocery money later in the month. I've never felt that free! I felt rich! We've often held back in fear and not given when we wanted because we didn't have a spending plan.
This plan has lifted a huge weight off our shoulders! This alone would help me feel less stressed, but there's more. I'll post about the other things soon!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Getting Real (Real long!)
On a serious note, I want to be real and transparent and all those good things, so I decided to share where I am with some struggles I've had since adding child #4 to our family.
Background: The year Jaybird arrived (2006) was a HUGE transitional year for us. We went from having Daddy home and helping around the house (while laid off and in school) to Daddy being gone 60-70 hours a week (when he finished school and worked). Then Jaybird was born a few months later. I had an especially hard time not feeling defeated and somewhat depressed. I have a family history of poor mental health and I had so far in my life never had to consider the possibility that I was depressed. I fought it off with all my strength. Now I knew I was dealing with it as I fought suicidal thoughts and fantasies of escaping to an isolated mountain top resort. I functioned-we did school and my house wasn't too bad, but I was still miserable inside.
When Jaybird was about six months old, after Christmas of '06, my good days finally outnumbered my bad ones. By spring I felt 95% better. I think the other 5% may be gone for good, lol.
As 2007 rolled on, I still fought defeat and the occasional fleeting thoughts of escape. I wrested all year with how it was supposed to work-the fruit of the Spirit had never come harder. How was I supposed to let the Lord handle it--was he supposed to come do my dishes for me or take the girls to baseball practice? I'm not being coy, I really wanted to know how to depend on the Lord in those practical ways.
December of 2007 started out great for me. I had a few gifts bought in November and had a rough list of gift ideas before we put the tree up. All of the sudden it was December 15 and Yahoo kept advertising last minute gifts. Last minute! Last minute!? I went from ahead of the game to behind-big time. All of this while still figuring out what to do about our Christmas cards/pics, the Center's Christmas cards, newsletter, and the training of my new Asst. Director. Oh, and then Shane came to me and requested that I encourage him to work more hours as a security guard (more than the 16 extra hours he already puts in each week) and that he'd signed up to work the two remaining Sundays before Christmas. I was still in denial that he'd be working Christmas Eve Night & Day.
I didn't have suicidal thoughts, but I did wish that I could just disappear, just not exist at all. On my good days I tried to figure out how to stop the world so I could catch up, so even my good days were defeated from the start.
I thought my chaotic life was apparent to all-I was late to work, forgot about details of plans, had to decline several worthy invitations to great parties, and possibly complained too much to all around me. I've since been told that I covered it well, but I still don't know how.
What saved me in the middle of the muck and mire was cutting out those parties, correcting the notion I'd given Shane that getting out of debt was my #1 priority (it's #2 or #3, after good mental health!), and compromising on projects that weighed me down. The absolute reprieve came from the two or so weeks I had off work for the Christmas & New Year's holiday. Especially the time after Christmas was over.
Now its almost mid January and I've been back to work, school, kids activities, and so on for a week or two. Am I back to insanity? Nope-quite the opposite, actually. I finally feel peaceful even when my day seems crazy. I'm excited about how God is working to help me feel that peace. I'm excited about how I'm spending my time. Jesus isn't doing my dishes, but I'm doing them with gladness.
Here's what happened-over the break, I relaxed and did fun things. We made cookies, those cinnamon rolls (13 pans of them!), I took naps with no guilt, I read a book-fiction!-and enjoyed my children. I decluttered big time. Big Time. I paced myself. I washed my dishes every night. No piling up. I reworked the kids' chores. I gathered up my favorite devotional books to go with my One Year Bible. I started the One Year Bible early so I'd have some days to play with. I started using the prayer journal our other Center gave me for Christmas to make a great daily prayer list. I've listened to Nancy Leigh DeMoss for inspiration along the way. We made our Dave Ramsey plan budget. I prayed for God to really show me how to live out each day in peace. I wanted my heart to be peaceful even if one of the babies pooped all over her clothes as I was walking us all out the door for work.
Work days are my hardest days-I wake up feeling rushed. Hurry and exercise, hurry and shower, hurry and get the kids' on task so they can start school. Hurry and do school, hurry and make lunch, hurry and eat and get ready to leave and don't forget anything. I finally wised up and moved school around so we have a lighter load on work days. I also got firm about no extras on school mornings-the girls can't check their email, make a fairy on the Disney site or start a coloring project-it's school, lunch, work only.
Before the break, I was deficient in downtime. I'd not finished a book or sewn or been creative in any ways. I've now built that into my evenings and weekends. I don't know how-I just am making time for it. I sewed yesterday-finishing three slings, hemming a robe for one of the girls, and even attacked my mending pile. I loved it! I'm reading another great Alton Gansky mystery book and considering learning to knit or starting a quilt. Shane and I picked up our Night Light for Parents Devotional again and we're focused a little more on family meals around the table. We've geocached and put together the telescope...you get the idea.
As for that internal peace-I just have to keep praying it in each day. I was frustrated this week during the 4-H Project Show preparations, but I wasn't feeling defeated. That's HUGE! I rushed kids 20 minutes away twice, once after work and before karate, then again 2 days later right before karate class. We were cramming it in, but I was calm and peace filled the whole time. Praise the Lord!
I'll keep you all updated-I'm keeping a little paper journal jotting down my good days, frustration days and defeated days. I'm praying for Satan to not steal any more from our family and that I might stay focused on the Prince of Peace instead! That name for Jesus never had so much meaning for me as now. God is so good!
Background: The year Jaybird arrived (2006) was a HUGE transitional year for us. We went from having Daddy home and helping around the house (while laid off and in school) to Daddy being gone 60-70 hours a week (when he finished school and worked). Then Jaybird was born a few months later. I had an especially hard time not feeling defeated and somewhat depressed. I have a family history of poor mental health and I had so far in my life never had to consider the possibility that I was depressed. I fought it off with all my strength. Now I knew I was dealing with it as I fought suicidal thoughts and fantasies of escaping to an isolated mountain top resort. I functioned-we did school and my house wasn't too bad, but I was still miserable inside.
When Jaybird was about six months old, after Christmas of '06, my good days finally outnumbered my bad ones. By spring I felt 95% better. I think the other 5% may be gone for good, lol.
As 2007 rolled on, I still fought defeat and the occasional fleeting thoughts of escape. I wrested all year with how it was supposed to work-the fruit of the Spirit had never come harder. How was I supposed to let the Lord handle it--was he supposed to come do my dishes for me or take the girls to baseball practice? I'm not being coy, I really wanted to know how to depend on the Lord in those practical ways.
December of 2007 started out great for me. I had a few gifts bought in November and had a rough list of gift ideas before we put the tree up. All of the sudden it was December 15 and Yahoo kept advertising last minute gifts. Last minute! Last minute!? I went from ahead of the game to behind-big time. All of this while still figuring out what to do about our Christmas cards/pics, the Center's Christmas cards, newsletter, and the training of my new Asst. Director. Oh, and then Shane came to me and requested that I encourage him to work more hours as a security guard (more than the 16 extra hours he already puts in each week) and that he'd signed up to work the two remaining Sundays before Christmas. I was still in denial that he'd be working Christmas Eve Night & Day.
I didn't have suicidal thoughts, but I did wish that I could just disappear, just not exist at all. On my good days I tried to figure out how to stop the world so I could catch up, so even my good days were defeated from the start.
I thought my chaotic life was apparent to all-I was late to work, forgot about details of plans, had to decline several worthy invitations to great parties, and possibly complained too much to all around me. I've since been told that I covered it well, but I still don't know how.
What saved me in the middle of the muck and mire was cutting out those parties, correcting the notion I'd given Shane that getting out of debt was my #1 priority (it's #2 or #3, after good mental health!), and compromising on projects that weighed me down. The absolute reprieve came from the two or so weeks I had off work for the Christmas & New Year's holiday. Especially the time after Christmas was over.
Now its almost mid January and I've been back to work, school, kids activities, and so on for a week or two. Am I back to insanity? Nope-quite the opposite, actually. I finally feel peaceful even when my day seems crazy. I'm excited about how God is working to help me feel that peace. I'm excited about how I'm spending my time. Jesus isn't doing my dishes, but I'm doing them with gladness.
Here's what happened-over the break, I relaxed and did fun things. We made cookies, those cinnamon rolls (13 pans of them!), I took naps with no guilt, I read a book-fiction!-and enjoyed my children. I decluttered big time. Big Time. I paced myself. I washed my dishes every night. No piling up. I reworked the kids' chores. I gathered up my favorite devotional books to go with my One Year Bible. I started the One Year Bible early so I'd have some days to play with. I started using the prayer journal our other Center gave me for Christmas to make a great daily prayer list. I've listened to Nancy Leigh DeMoss for inspiration along the way. We made our Dave Ramsey plan budget. I prayed for God to really show me how to live out each day in peace. I wanted my heart to be peaceful even if one of the babies pooped all over her clothes as I was walking us all out the door for work.
Work days are my hardest days-I wake up feeling rushed. Hurry and exercise, hurry and shower, hurry and get the kids' on task so they can start school. Hurry and do school, hurry and make lunch, hurry and eat and get ready to leave and don't forget anything. I finally wised up and moved school around so we have a lighter load on work days. I also got firm about no extras on school mornings-the girls can't check their email, make a fairy on the Disney site or start a coloring project-it's school, lunch, work only.
Before the break, I was deficient in downtime. I'd not finished a book or sewn or been creative in any ways. I've now built that into my evenings and weekends. I don't know how-I just am making time for it. I sewed yesterday-finishing three slings, hemming a robe for one of the girls, and even attacked my mending pile. I loved it! I'm reading another great Alton Gansky mystery book and considering learning to knit or starting a quilt. Shane and I picked up our Night Light for Parents Devotional again and we're focused a little more on family meals around the table. We've geocached and put together the telescope...you get the idea.
As for that internal peace-I just have to keep praying it in each day. I was frustrated this week during the 4-H Project Show preparations, but I wasn't feeling defeated. That's HUGE! I rushed kids 20 minutes away twice, once after work and before karate, then again 2 days later right before karate class. We were cramming it in, but I was calm and peace filled the whole time. Praise the Lord!
I'll keep you all updated-I'm keeping a little paper journal jotting down my good days, frustration days and defeated days. I'm praying for Satan to not steal any more from our family and that I might stay focused on the Prince of Peace instead! That name for Jesus never had so much meaning for me as now. God is so good!
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Two things I really want right now
1. I want to build an old looking farm house with vintage (or vintage looking) stuff.
2. I want to be a minimalist-not the zen type, the country type.
The farm house thing evolved from our longings for a log home. About 7 years ago, Shane presented me with log home brochures on Valentine's Day. We bought some land and moved to town. Kind of backwards, but that's how life works sometimes. We've been in town for 5 years this month but next year we are making a HUGE family effort to put every extra (and not so extra) dime towards debt so we can build in 2009.
Back to the farm house. Shane and I are big Smallville fans. Clark Kent (you know, Superman) grew up in this sunny looking, warm yellow farm house. After watching every epidode, I fell in love with the farm house look. In a way, it complements the home we live in now, which was built in the 1890s.
I don't want a "kountry bumpkin" home with home sewn bunny vacuum cleaner covers in mauve and country blue...I don't want a hunting lodge look either, I want a rustic, charming, simple farm house with eye pleasing lines and simple furnishings. After reading this blog, I have some concrete images to go with my tastes. This is a big step for me since for several years I've struggled to identify my style, I just knew what I liked when I saw it (old colorful quilts, simple handcrafted tables with notches and scratches, weathered wood in worn red, sage, brown, or robin's egg blue, mismatched old dishes...)
In my present home I'd love to be a minimalist. Rid my house of all unnecessary clutter. However, the reality is I can only start decluttering more so that we won't move into our new house with so much stuff. It's hard for me to judge how much stuff we have. You see, much of my Grandmother's belongings are still here. On top of that, some of the decor just naturally makes it visually busy (like the 2 rooms of darkish paneled walls), so even if it were bare, it would still look cluttered in a way. Also, I have 4.5 children (.5 is my cousin's baby Adri who's here each weekday, lol), who have STUFF. And Grandparents who like to give STUFF. And a husband who doesn't like to get rid of STUFF.
How do you rid your life of excess with a big family? I find the age range of my kids makes it hard to minimize their stuff. The toddler has her own set of toys, the middles play with Polly Pockets, and the oldest has big kid stuff-so that adds up to a lot of stuff!
My fantasy is to get my mom to watch the girls for a day while all my friends come over. A couple would help me pitch the junk while another one or two organized what was left. Another one would take all the stuff immediately to the thrift store. I'd also have unlimited cash and time to paint, redecorate, and replace mismatched or worn out furniture. Ahhhh...
Reality is-minimalizing takes work-continuous work. It's a great goal for our move. After all, I don't want STUFF in my Clark Kent farm house!
2. I want to be a minimalist-not the zen type, the country type.
The farm house thing evolved from our longings for a log home. About 7 years ago, Shane presented me with log home brochures on Valentine's Day. We bought some land and moved to town. Kind of backwards, but that's how life works sometimes. We've been in town for 5 years this month but next year we are making a HUGE family effort to put every extra (and not so extra) dime towards debt so we can build in 2009.
Back to the farm house. Shane and I are big Smallville fans. Clark Kent (you know, Superman) grew up in this sunny looking, warm yellow farm house. After watching every epidode, I fell in love with the farm house look. In a way, it complements the home we live in now, which was built in the 1890s.
I don't want a "kountry bumpkin" home with home sewn bunny vacuum cleaner covers in mauve and country blue...I don't want a hunting lodge look either, I want a rustic, charming, simple farm house with eye pleasing lines and simple furnishings. After reading this blog, I have some concrete images to go with my tastes. This is a big step for me since for several years I've struggled to identify my style, I just knew what I liked when I saw it (old colorful quilts, simple handcrafted tables with notches and scratches, weathered wood in worn red, sage, brown, or robin's egg blue, mismatched old dishes...)
In my present home I'd love to be a minimalist. Rid my house of all unnecessary clutter. However, the reality is I can only start decluttering more so that we won't move into our new house with so much stuff. It's hard for me to judge how much stuff we have. You see, much of my Grandmother's belongings are still here. On top of that, some of the decor just naturally makes it visually busy (like the 2 rooms of darkish paneled walls), so even if it were bare, it would still look cluttered in a way. Also, I have 4.5 children (.5 is my cousin's baby Adri who's here each weekday, lol), who have STUFF. And Grandparents who like to give STUFF. And a husband who doesn't like to get rid of STUFF.
How do you rid your life of excess with a big family? I find the age range of my kids makes it hard to minimize their stuff. The toddler has her own set of toys, the middles play with Polly Pockets, and the oldest has big kid stuff-so that adds up to a lot of stuff!
My fantasy is to get my mom to watch the girls for a day while all my friends come over. A couple would help me pitch the junk while another one or two organized what was left. Another one would take all the stuff immediately to the thrift store. I'd also have unlimited cash and time to paint, redecorate, and replace mismatched or worn out furniture. Ahhhh...
Reality is-minimalizing takes work-continuous work. It's a great goal for our move. After all, I don't want STUFF in my Clark Kent farm house!
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