Junkie

Shane & me at the Pregnancy Resource Center's Fundraising Gala

Some of our guests-Susan, Andrea & Lilian.

Our Youth & Music Minister Jeff and his newly pregnant (!) wife Natalie-so glad we got to have them at our table!

Thursday night was the 8th annual Gala for our Pregnancy Resource Center. I helped start this center when I was 7. Okay, I was a bit older, but only a bit.

The Gala feeds this junkie like no other day of the year. I get so high that I come home with my heart singing, "I could have danced all night...". If only I looked like Audrey Hepburn...

You see, I'm a first class junkie in two big time ways.

I am a God junkie.

I am a relationship junkie.

God first, because He always goes first. Seeing God move in HUGE ways over and over and over again is real life in pregnancy center ministry. Sure, He moves in the day-to-day work of the center (all of them, all over the country, not just our local one), but at the Gala, I get so see the big picture. I know that in 2001 I bought $58 of Christmas decor on sale to use in our not-even-established center the following Christmas season. I was a little nervous about telling the Board I'd used center funds to work the sales at Wal-Mart, but it ended okay...our budget for 2009? Almost a quarter of a million dollars.

In 2008 our center had 1100 client visits. Our first year? 100. That is over a ten fold increase! God is so big! I love seeing him work. Being involved in PRC ministry is one sure ticket to the front row of God's action packed show.

My second vice-my buds. I love making connections with people-and keeping them. In my heart I'm still your friend if we've not talked much since 3rd grade. The Gala brings in a dozen or so kindred spirits who were there in the beginning, who prayed us into existence. My elbow rubbing is really heart connecting and I get juiced from it at the Gala.

PRC work has changed my life forever. It's changed my children. Hope & Ashlyn held a fundraiser for our other PRC (which is limping along financially). They spent the afternoon drawing pictures & then calling up the Grands to buy them. Hope brought her $14 donation to the center this week and was not sure what the big deal was when they wanted to take her picture. That's what I'm talking about!

Maybe it's not pro-life ministry-but I do hope that you've connected to what God wants you passionate about. What would make swing around the room on an emotional high like Eliza Doolittle? I pray you find it and it never lets you go. May you be a hopeless junkie too.

About the fundraiser-the preliminary numbers indicate we raised about $77,000 in donations that night, 90 day pledges and a year's worth of monthly commitments. More usually trickles in during the weeks following the Gala. Way to God!

Check these out

I was just reading on Making Home and saw this link about an abortionist turned prolifer. His testimony is so very vivid. I challenge anyone who is pro-choice to read his story and evaluate his experiences.

Other folks who've been in the pro-death camp but are now pro-life:
Carol Everett-incredible story!
Bernard Nathanson-responsible for over 75,000 abortions, including his own child. You know all the beautiful pictures of the unborn? He's the one who captured those.

Hop on over to Making Home and read through her other links today. There are some especially good ones for married women and how we can bless our husbands and enrich our marriages.

Just a side note here-our family would appreciate your prayers today. We've had someone pretty interested in our land and we're looking at a house today. We want to be in God's timing here. I'll update you all this weekend in a weekly wrap up style post.

More on Voting

I've just been reading some of John Holzmann's blog-he's a co-founder of our Sonlight Curriculum. As I've read his notes and books that are part of our curriculum and tried to stay up with him occasionally on the Sonlighter's Forums, I've realized how very intelligent he his; I respect him greatly.

I'm totally with John on this post. And this post with the singing kids is just sad...do you think they'd all still be singing if the lyrics included Obama's stance on infanticide? Yeah, go change.

I can not fathom why someone would vote for Obama, especially a Christian. Is that too strong of a statement? Even if you cut out all the other issues he supports that I don't, the issue of life alone should be enough to repel any Christian away from voting for him. The Bible makes it crystal clear that we are to support the cause of the unborn. Obama makes it equally clear he cares nothing for the unborn. These can't be reconciled!

(Side note about the previous link: It's from the website of a prochoice group. Upon first glance, his stance sounds nice and PC, but you'll notice he never mentions "abstinence" but instead is in favor of post-pregnancy solutions and comprehensive sex ed-which doesn't include abstinence, but instead pushes contraception-often misused in that age group anyway, and alternative lifestyles. Don't be fooled by the PC talk.)

I heard a good point-if someone is skewed on the issue of life, then it's very likely they are not sound on other issues.

Population Control

"Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals," said Turner. "Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state -- like Somalia or Sudan -- and living conditions will be intolerable."

Ted Turner says the above will be the result if we don't limit ourselves to just one or two children per family.

Hmmm, how's that working for China and Russia ? (Russia, by the way uses abortion as birth control and the average woman has 20-30 abortions in her lifetime-pray for the pregnancy centers that are trying to get off the ground there!)

Unbelievable

A Harvard art student is creating quite a stir. Very, very sad. At least some people are opposing it, and there's a chance it was all fake. Let's hope so.

Life's Start

When does life begin? Like I said before, there are several schools of thought on this subject, but I find it quite easy to see which makes the most sense, scientifically.


Life begins at conception-this is when the DNA from the father and the mother mesh into one new set of DNA, one that is totally unique to the new life. Moments after conception, this DNA is fully intact. From this point on, growth occurs, but no other changes happen on the DNA level. Just after conception the following criteria to establish biological life are present:

metabolism
growth
reaction to stimuli and
reproduction." 1

Related to life beginning at conception, here is a link discussing the fact that the baby is autonomous of the mother from the very beginning.


Life begins at implantation-this misunderstanding, I feel, is perpetrated by our current medical system. Since the 1960s, In order to continue to market products like abortifacient birth control methods, pregnancyhas been redefined as starting at implantation. This means that any method used to keep a baby from attaching to the womb/nourishment (like the IUD and any hormonal birth control methods) can be allowed (with the new definition). It's a definition of convenience, but it's not based in truth.

In truth, the zygote's cells have been multiplying away while it travels down the fallopian tube. Once it reaches its destination, the uterus, it plugs in for nourishment. The act of implantation doesn't jolt it alive or make any other changes, its just allows for nourishment to be given to the growing, fertilized egg and it sends signals to the woman's body to stop menstruation. In my limited search today of informative links, I can't even find this point, so I'm wondering if it's been left behind as our technology has progressed...

Life begins when the embryo looks human-does this even justify an answer? Looks human? How scientific is that? A charred tree doesn't look like wood, yet in science class we all learned that fire brings a chemical change to the wood. It was still wood and is still wood, it's just burned wood. Looks mean nothing-what does the DNA say?


Life begins at viability-this is a subjective argument. Viability depends on our technology, which is always changing. We can't base something as important as when life begins on our ability to maintain that life outside the womb. Viability continues to inch up earlier and earlier, so does that mean that 20 years ago life began at a later stage than it does now, just because we couldn't sustain that life outside of the womb in 1988? No. Life has always begun at the same time, it doesn't depend on us.

Life begins at birth-this again is subjective because birth can occur at so many different gestational ages. Just because someone wants to justify abortion doesn't mean they can decide to stamp personhood on only those who are born. Tell a mother the child in her womb, whom she can already see has a personality, isn't yet a person. No scientific changes occur at birth that would make a child suddenly become a person.


Life begins after birth-Peter Singer believes personhood arrives sometime after birth-weeks afterwards. This is also philosophical argument, not scientific and therefore can not be taken seriously. If science backed it up, yes, it'd be worth discussion, but science clearly points to the other end of the spectrum (conception).


I've tried to not spiritualize this discussion, because while I fully believe in the truths of the Bible, not everyone does. However, science and scripture will not contradict each other, so we can depend on true science. Here is an excellent site that explains succinctly when life begins without using any religious reasoning. If you don't check out any other links on this post, check out this one.

And for the visual learners, here's a beautiful youtube video of fetal development. It's been said that if wombs were made of glass, there'd be no abortion. Consider this the glass womb.

SLED

The wise folks at Stand to Reason have a great website with a ton insight on faith in the public square. They focus on topics like bioethics and philosophy. They came up with the SLED test, which Shane loves to share every chance he gets. I'll see if I can do a decent job summarizing it-but you can always go to the original source.

This argument shows why abortion can't be justified, simply using logic, not scripture (many people don't care what scripture says):

S-Size: My husband is larger than me, that doesn't make him more of a person. Ash weighs about 60 lbs more than her 20 month old sister, but they both have value, neither has more than the other. An unborn child is much smaller than a toddler, but as illustrated above, value isn't assigned to people according to size.

L-Level of Development-Having a crop of kids give me great examples for this. Obviously, my oldest child has a higher skill levels than our toddler. That doesn't make the toddler less of a person, it just means the toddler must still mature and grow. A baby in the womb is less developed than a 6 month old, but level of development doesn't change personhood.

E-Environment-I am the same person if I am at work or at home. The same person if I'm on a plane or stepping off a plane. Environment does not change personhood. A baby's environment-either in the womb or just arrived from it, doesn't change its value.

D-Degree of Dependency. Many people try to say that because a baby is dependent on its mother, that's reason enough allow abortion. Are we not dependent on anything? I'm dependent on the electric company to bring me power, to Wal-Mart to offer the food I don't grow myself, I depend on my employer for a paycheck. Dependency doesn't make us not human or without value. Dependency is not a valid reason to allow abortion.

So, even though the mother may not have planned this pregnancy, we can't offer abortion as an option because the unborn does have value, worth, and deserves the same protection as all other humans.

The SLED test assumes that life begins at conception, but there are several other schools of thought out there, one even states that life/personhood begins when a child is much older, I believe 9 months old. I'll blog about this soon.

Happy Birthday PRC!

The Pregnancy Resource Center Shane & I helped start opened its doors 7 years ago today. What a story!

In 1999, 27 year old Shane felt called to ministry, but he only knew it was NOT preaching. As the year went on, the Lord refined the calling to show Shane the ministry related to children. I was 23 years old and a few weeks from college graduation when I went on a Walk to Emmaus retreat in August of that year. At that retreat, God allowed me to meet Marianne, who was grieving the loss of her miscarried child. God touched her on that retreat and showed her he was holding that little baby. I was so moved and touched by that, but also so heartbroken for the women who had lost children through miscarriage or early infant death that I knew God wanted us to minister to those women.

I came home so excited that God had shown me more, then as the weeks went on and we prayed about it, God showed us the ministry was to be a PRC. Y'all, my Grandma volunteered for a PRC. I told God I didn't want to do my Grandma's ministry. Surprisingly, he really didn't care and we carried on.

God lovingly nurtured us and confirmed the calling right and left. We had planned to contact Andrea about the ministry, since we'd talked for some time with her about the need for a PRC in the area (and she was already doing the ministry out of her car, essentially). But before we could call her, she called us and told us the Lord showed her we were supposed to start the ministry. Our church offered a spiritual gifts class and we found out my gift was encouragement and on the list of good ministry fits for me was....a crisis center!

So, in the late fall, we started speaking in churches to get the word out about our plans. We spoke first in a little group that was meeting in a feed store, we were so new at this and nervous. A train went through and we couldn't even be heard, but the Lord worked; we gathered our first board member there.

Throughout 2000, Shane, Andrea, Brian and myself met 2-3 times a month to discuss the details and tasks to opening a non-profit. I still vividly remember sitting on our second hand couch (it was UGLY!) nervously dialing the IRS asking questions about the mile high non-profit status paperwork. Oh, and I was pregnant with Hope this year and Marianne was pregnant with Katie-a miracle.

We found a building, it actually belonged to the church that was meeting in the feed store. They allowed us to rent-to-own it for $500 a month. They also gave us $500 a month as a donation. We raised the money and by Thanksgiving and paid cash for the $100,000 building. Who but the Lord could do that?

We remodeled just a little, painted-Mr. T painted 150 miles of trim! We were given most of our furniture. Its really nice when rich people decide their 4 year old furniture is "worn out".

On April 2, 2001 just a few weeks shy of my 25th birthday, I went to work as the Director of the PRC on it's first day to be open. I wore khaki pants and a green and khaki button down short sleeved shirt--green for life, I told myself.

Before we opened, we had a Yellow Page ad and a phone in our pastor's office. Through this arrangement, Tina had contacted us. She was pregnant and the father of the baby was in jail. We helped her find a maternity home, which she agreed was better than her mother's idea to abort. Bobby got out of jail and Tina left the maternity home--where she'd found out she was having twins. She delivered on our opening day. We felt that was the Lord saying he was going to doubly bless our center.

And he has! When someone important has toured our building, like a consultant for PRCs or a national trainer, they always told us we had the space, funding, and ideas of a center 20 years old. We added sonography services two years ago, we bought a property across the street for expansion, we have 6 or 7 paid staff, and God has provided much financially. So much that this PRC has been able to help support another center in Bolivia.

I've not been involved in the day to day running of that center in several years (that's why it's going so well!), but Shane and I will always be involved with PRCs, on way or another. It's one of the most rewarding ministries out there!

Oh, and just for fun-the church that met in the feed store is now our church. And yesterday I officially met Jan, who's training to be a new sonographer with us. She said she remembered when we came to the feed store and shared our vision; she was there, but had never imagined she'd be at the center over 8 years later. God is good and can do big things! (Especially when he uses people too young to know better!).

Prolife 101

I have been discussing feminism with some ladies on a parenting forum. Specifically a woman wanted to know why anyone would be against feminism. I responded that when I think of feminism, I think of Margaret Sanger and Planned Parenthood. This led to a few posts debating the value (there is none) of PP (that's a whole different post), which of course led to a few posts about abortion.

A girl who says she's a Christian responded and said, "I don't believe in abortion, but I think it's important that we protect a woman's right to choose, since it is a free country."

This is such a problem statement. I think its common for some Christians to feel this way, but its dead wrong. It shows that our society has taken PP's rhetoric for truth: hook, line, and sinker.

Let's think about why this is wrong. Let's finish the sentence. "I think it's important to protect a woman's right to choose what?" Are we protecting her right to choose a Big Mac over a Cheeseburger? No, we're protecting her right to choose to abort, to end the life of a child.

Let's say we have a nice little clinic that specializes in "taking care of" our toddlers once they reach the terrible two stage. They're so much work at that age, no mother should be forced to take care of curtain climbing ankle biters. Of course, I wouldn't take my child there, but I don't want to impose on your right to do so.

Of course no one would put up with that, but it's the same thing!

If your child comes up behind you while you're washing dishes and says, "Mom, can I kill this?" Your question is, "What is it?" Well, even Dr. Seuss knows that a person's a person no matter how small. There is much at stake-we must know what we are aborting.

We'll look at this using the SLED test in the next few posts. SLED stands for Size, Level of Development, Environment and Dependency. I'll show you that life begins at conception and that the newly conceived life, the babe that's been in gestation for seven months, a five month old, and a three year old all have just as much value as my 31 year old life. I think you'll then see that it's not acceptable to look the other way in the name of freedom.

Power of Prayer, Part II

I needed to process all this...so here's the second part. By the way, if you think this is long, just wait until I blog about this baby's birth story--especially if its anything like the last one...hmmm maybe I should blog about that...

Okay, here you go:

So, we were filling up, but what would we present to them? A meal, a song, 12 minutes of program and a plea for money? Oh boy, what were we thinking? A Gala without a speaker? Without even a testimony?


I thought about this as I ran home to pick up my kids and wake up Shane. Shane, by the way, who had been having abdominal pain which made me think of our good friend who ended up in the operating room with part of her intestine removed last year. There was nothing I could do about his pain, but the devil reminded me of it and my distraction from my husband throughout the day.


I need to insert some praise for my wonderful daughter, Ash. She was such a trooper. I left the house a little after lunch and they didn’t see me until almost 5:00 pm when I ran home to change. Although the house wasn’t very clean, she had fed them their lunch, taken care of Jaybird when she got up from her nap, then even had the foresight to get them all dressed and ready to go to Grandma’s house before I got home. When I arrived, they were already in their coats! I don’t know what I would have done without her help.

For all of you who care, I dressed in my thrift store black dress I bought a few years ago. We spent Sunday afternoon at North East Mall walking through the entire 45 mile long mall just to get to JC Penney’s where I found my snazzy black and white jacket with oversized buttons (on sale, of course!). It was worth it, not only did I feel good in my new threads, I was warm :) I refreshed my makeup, put on my new New Balance tennis shoes, grabbed my heels and the diaper bag and headed out the door after pointing Shane to his suit.

The Lord had still not told me anything to add to the program. Okay, Lord, 12 minute programs probably please people. They can get home sooner…get out of their dress clothes and do whatever people do with spare time in the evenings.

We gathered to pray as a staff and board, led by a local youth and family minister. People, of course, arrive early, even before the volunteers are ready to check them in. I really don’t mind, if people arrive early, they deserve to see us still pulling it together.

Our ushers don their boutonnieres while the board members get nametags stabbed into their jackets and dresses. We realized we neglected to plan the lighting changes, so we experiment with switches even while guests are being seated. My nerves are shot; I’m just wondering how this can ever, ever work.

Finally, after a few glitches with seating that were thankfully easily resolved, it was time to start. Pastor Mike from the First Baptist Church set the tone by graciously welcoming everyone. The room, in spite of its 1980 dusty mauve paint and stained gray carpet was stunning, thanks to our excellent decorators. They rivaled the “big city” decorators I’ve worked with while planning our other Centers' galas. The food-a fancy cut of steak that fell apart when you breathed on it, grilled chicken with a marvelous sauce or marinade or something tasty, julienne carrots with some delectable sauce, incredible grilled asparagus, wonderfully seasoned white and red carrots and a custom bread-was perfect. Who knew this kind of meal would be served in BBQ country?

The dessert-which I only had a few bites off-was just as great. We had two chocolate fountains with rich, dark chocolate. That alone would have suited me, but in tall vases were skewers filled with sweet strawberries, marshmallows, and other fruit. I had the coconut cream pudding dish with a cherry on top. Very beautiful!

I’ll have pictures to post soon and you’ll get a better feel for the atmosphere. It’s important, because I promise you, the food, décor and the musicians pulled the night off for us.

Well, except for the two pastors who saved the day. Let me get back to the program…

Pastor Mike warmly welcomed…then the dinner began. It was smooth, the food was good, lots of smiling faces and interaction between guests. It was going so well, we gave dinner more time than planned. Hey, it’s not like we were going to run out of time! Finally, it was time to start. I’m nervous again just typing it! (I had considered praying for laryngitis that morning, since I hate public speaking. I knew my part was minor compared to the other ladies’ parts, so I could have been skipped. Little did I know that I was the program!).

After an absolutely beautiful song, “Orphans of God” which brought several tears around the room, I was on. The mics were causing a little trouble and I HATE mics anyway. I step up and say the few lines I felt the Lord impress on my heart a half hour before:

“May I tell you that our day fell apart?”

I told them about the process of losing our speaker and our special testimony. I told them about the tug of war in decision-making regarding the fate of the evening.
Then I asked, “Is this anything compared to what a young girl feels when she finds out she’s pregnant and wasn’t planning to be?”

I paused for effect. Then I said, “So, lets enjoy our evening anyway, because I know my God. My God is big enough that you don’t need to hear Carol’s story to be moved to get involved with this work. Stacy would have shared about aborting during her senior year in our high school, God doesn’t need that to pull your heartstrings.”

Then I continued with my regularly planned spiel. I explained a little about what our center does, where we are and where we’re going. I plead for their help by making a final illustration:

“In 2006, 18 women from our county had an abortion. That number isn’t all that high; surely there are better causes to invest in. Well, think about it this way. If a piece of playground equipment at the park were to take the lives of 18 children, our fine mayor (who was there) would have it pulled out. Jack ____ is here, he’s a State Trooper and he’d tell us that it wouldn’t take 18 fatalities at one intersection in town to warrant a stoplight. Well, we’ve had 18 deaths from an unseen cause in our county. That’s about the size of an elementary school classroom. A classroom in missing every year. Year after year. What will you do about it? Who will care? This is our community and we have to protect all life here, both born and unborn.”

I went on to introduce the emotional DVD that would give a visual to the heart breaking stories of the girls we see and how we help them. This was supposed to be the launching mechanism into Stacy’s story and then Carol’s final punch.

The DVD wouldn’t play.

We sat there, smiling, pretending to be calm but as the clocked ticked on, it was very uncomfortable. Prayers were going up, I know, but something about those mauve walls must have thwarted our efforts. Finally, I had the girl who was supposed to sing the closing song to go ahead and sing now. She did, and did another moving performance, as I hear there were more tears shed, but it could have been tears of pity for us.

Her song ends and we try the DVD again. Now it will play but the sound won’t work. Never mind, that’s it, lets just end it all now.

Mike, the pastor, gets up and gives a great, encouraging plea for financial support. I don’t remember his exact words; I just knew in my heart he was doing a bang up job rallying the audience. He reminded everyone that the reason we were all here was for them-not the speakers. The snow didn’t matter, the technical difficulties didn’t matter, but they did. They had a job to and now was the time to step up. Another musician, who has a great, soft style, sang Amazing Grace as our new closing song—perfect choice!

I was holding back tears; the dam was just about to give. But I still had to greet all these people and hear them all say it was really a good evening, bla bla bla, but all I wanted was that DVD to have worked or a good, hot bath, I didn’t really care which anymore.

My new favorite guy, Gregg, was to say some closing remarks and pray. I walked back to his table during the financial plea to tell him his new cue (since we changed the songs around) and he said he had a 5-point sermon planned. I told him he dared not attempt it, it would surely go wrong! He started quoting scripture to me about being more than conquerors and reminding me that we know who wins in the end. The devil’s antics only prove that this is important work. I loved hearing that, it was balm to my soul. Not just the words, but that he would care so much to share that with me.

The dam started to break. Shane tried to hold me close as Gregg spoke similar words to the audience moments later. During the prayer, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I had to go to the restroom and cry a little. I could hear the crowd murmuring, so I knew I had to get out there, but my eyes were very red and watery…oh well, I took a deep breath and out I went. I never cry. Stupid pregnancy hormones. And exhaustion. And no speaker. Four inches of snow.

Of course, there was a lot of encouragement. No one said a negative word. They were moved and told me so. They were impressed with the evening, they had a good time, they want to volunteer, be on the board, and so on. Lots of hugs and smiles…

We bade our guests farewell and cleaned up. Shane picked up the girls and took them all home while we washed steak knives, stacked and wrapped the rental equipment, vacuumed and mopped. I got home bone tired at 11 pm. The two big girls were still up and enjoyed some left over potatoes. I collapsed in the living room floor and sweetly told Shane there would be no lunch packed for him tonight. His little girls pulled one together and I went to bed. Sleep wouldn’t come until around 1:45, my mind was so busy processing…

I think the positive reactions the night before and all the kudos were enough to end this story, but everyone seems to want to hear about the money raised. $10,000 came in last night and $5000 was pledged for the year in monthly donations. We also have a handful of new volunteers. Not bad for 90-100 people who gathered in the snow with no speaker, no testimony, no multimedia presentation, just the Lord’s presence in the chaos.

And one last note, the devil isn’t done. I got a call this morning that the Cowboy Church’s pastor lost his hearing aid last night, and they’ve looked all over the Community Room for it. It’s quite a costly loss, so if you feel led, please pray it will be found. Also, last night while we were cleaning, the precious couple that did the decorating and the dessert bar ended up in the ER. Mylea has the flu and pneumonia! Please pray for her healing!

Power of Prayer, Part I

I have a friend who says I’ll write a book someday. I’ve thought about it, I admit, but every time I think of a topic I’d like to write about, I remember that I learned it all from reading books…no original ideas here. Until last night. Truth really is stranger than fiction. I chose this title because my mind can’t comprehend what the day would have been like without prayer-it was absolutely unreal as it was-bathed in prayer!

Let me give you some background. This is our first Gala in a little bitty town. I wasn’t even sure anyone would know what a Gala was. I wasn’t sure where we’d find caterers who could put together a classy meal, and no, I don’t mean good barbeque. Decorations that don’t involve cowboy boots and bales of hay-not so sure in this town.

Much to my surprise there is a great catering/decorating team right under our noses. Not only that, but we found friends of the ministry happy to underwrite the event to pay for all the fancy-smancy food and décor. We had a great speaker lined up, one I’d heard a few years before and could totally trust to be powerful. A local town sweetheart was slated to share her moving testimony and a zinger of a DVD about a girl facing an unplanned pregnancy who changes her mind after getting a sonogram was set up and ready to go.

It was all so smooth. Too smooth.

Let me back up a week. It’s crunch time-seven days until the Big Day and I realize I’m a few days late on my period. I rationalize it away remembering that I’d been a little sick, Jaybird had been nursing a whole lot more since she’d been sick, and that the stress of the Gala planning all had taken a toll. Thursday night I decided I should probably stop wondering and just take a test. But not before I wrapped up the Gala program, my director’s report, and the seating plans. I had to concentrate and could not be bothered with frantic thinking if I were, indeed, pregnant. I worked on those until late in the evening Thursday while emailing a friend my suspicions and worries. Finally I took the test just a few minutes before Shane got up to go to work.

It was positive.

I was shocked.

I was testing my heart to see if I was finished with four children. I had been feeling our family was complete but wanted to give it more time before making a permanent decision. I guess our family wasn’t complete and God had other plans. Although I praised God for the blessing and miracle, I was dreading telling anyone with every fiber of my being. I cried some that night, even woke up weeping in the middle of the night. (If this is news to you, it's either because of proximity or that you're one of the ones I'm afraid to tell...you decide :) But just know if you say something negative, you'll forever be in my memory as the first to chide me about it).

I told Shane the next morning. We sat on our front porch swing and I just blurted it out. He chuckled and said he already knew. God had given him a verse two days before, Psalm 127, about children being a blessing from the Lord. He even told a coworker that morning he felt our family might be growing. He was giddy. Shane never showed any doubt or hesitation about embracing an enlarging family. This comforted my heart but I still begged him to just let us keep it a secret—forever.

I did tell a close friend and then we told a group of my closest girlfriends and their husbands, essentially my Life Group, a few days later. I was exhausted and cried a bit, but their joy and the joy of a few others I told the next day boosted me up. Finally, I told my mom and the girls told my mother in law, I told my friend whose wedding I am in—near the time the baby is due and almost everyone was just giggly with happiness.

So, we get to the morning of the Gala and I actually thought I’d have a peaceful, quiet morning before meeting the volunteers at the Community Room. The phone starts ringing though, at 9am, as the snow is heavily falling outside. Will the snow affect the evening? No, it’s just snow. Come on, fellow Texans, don’t play into the jokes that Texans can’t handle a few flurries.

As we continue to watch the snowfall, I learn the schools are closing, as is the beauty shop where I’m supposed to have my hair done. I go in early, on the phone the entire time with calls to our speaker, my volunteers, the board, and everyone under the sun who has an opinion about what we should do. Several times I ended up on the phone explaining our decisions to friends who wanted the entire scoop on what we were thinking and why. I almost stopped answering those calls! My husband and the Board Chair are both sick in bed, so I feel a bit alone in the decision making process, ironically. On top of that, here I am paying to have my hair done for an event we’re on the verge of canceling.

As I’m in the salon chair, my cell rings and it’s Carol Everett, our speaker, making the point that if we hold the Gala, those who are just casual invitees who we want to catch our vision probably won’t be the ones coming out in the snow. I agree and feel we should try to postpone it for the next day. My hairdresser says, “That might be your sign that you just don’t need to do it tonight.” Then I call the volunteers working on the meal at the community room and they report there’s no way the chicken will be edible tomorrow night. My hairdresser then says, “That might be your sign you should just go ahead with it.” If I had any more signs, the hairdresser might have to sell me a wig since I was about to pull every strand of hair out of my head!

Instead of a dozen cell phones buzzing back and forth, a few key decision makers decide to meet up at the Community Room for a face-to-face pow-wow. It’s 2:45 in the afternoon. Carol Everett has to leave town in 15 minutes to make it from Dallas. If she could even make it. My chest was red and blotchy from nerves, but hey, my hair looked good!

At the Community Room, sitting down at a gorgeously dressed table among white columns with ferns perched on top, two of us with prom styled hair, the rest still make up-less and a bit wilted from the weather, decide the show must go on, with our without a speaker. What will we do for a program? Who knows, but we have to get these tables set, it’s three hours until the show-whatever that is!

I take a break to call Carol, excusing her from driving here since her route would entail driving through areas that had been hit harder and could be dangerous. She immediately starts praying for us and I shed the first tears of emotional strain. I regain composure by the end of the prayer and we laugh about the circumstances, she praises my attitude and we hang up. The next blow is that Stacy, our post-abortion testimony didn’t feel safe driving from out of town either, so that left my six minute ministry report and the DVD as the meat of the evening’s program!

The Lord didn’t show me anything else to say or anyone else to improvise with. I didn’t want “filler”, rambling, unplanned testimony just to say we tried.

Instead, we wanted to make sure the seats were filled. One particular gung-ho volunteer immediately got on the phone and started calling table hosts to see if their guests would still be coming. Amazingly, about 75% said yes. Our roads weren’t bad, just slushy, but that’s still an excuse to stay home.

So, we were filling up, but what would we present to them? A meal, a song, 12 minutes of program and a plea for money? Oh boy, what were we thinking? A Gala without a speaker? Without even a testimony?

My first post of the new year should be of rolling down a hill. Yep, rolling down a hill in November, I think. I did it. I laughed. But I'm not ready to tell the story yet. But soon.

Until then, I'm telling you the crazy, insane, want to pull my hair out time of year is here. But it's for a good cause. Official Gala planning started TODAY. I'll see you on March 7th.




Just kidding. Well, it did start today and I may be posting less, and it is all for a good cause, that's the truth of it. I spent an hour or so going over details and plans for this small town's first Gala. I've put one on for our other PRC, but it's located in a somewhat more affluent area. I am a little anxious about how this one will come off. Our Prayer Coordinator is all set (Miss Anita for those who know her-and her enthusiasm has blessed me hugely!), and we have a few other key details figured out-like what we're serving at the Prayer Dessert. We don't know who our MC is for the big night or who the caterer is, but hey, we got dessert planned!

No one really understands all the details that go into such a big event until they do this. Just to get the Prayer Dessert on the calendar took seven phone calls and about an hour and a half and I'm not done yet. I'm sure you'll be hearing more about this in the next few weeks. I may not see you back here until March 7th! No, come back, its all good stuff, and the Lord will really have a chance to do big things. I can't wait to see them-and to report the whole story on March 7th!

You need to read this

This is why our family does what we do--not the homeschooling part, but the ministry part. I will not be guilty of standing by with my head in the sand when we are questioned on why we could let it happen--either by future generations or by our Lord. Who will stand up for those with no voice if we don't? Who will stand up for the woman who feels backed into a corner?

A Glimpse of the Future: Abortion Museums