One of my doula clients asked me what I'd do if I attended a birth with a client and decided I hated doula work.
I know I won't hate it. I already love it. My response to her is that I know God made me for this job in this season of my life and I'm excited to do it.
I know I rely heavily on my trash man but I boy there have to be better jobs, right? I have the philosophy that we should all love our jobs. My spiritual justification? God gave us all a unique set of gifts and talents, personality and genes. He has wired us to do a specific work. Of course I don't like all things about my work as a mom (scrubbing toilets, anyone?) but really, I do love it. I loved pregnancy center work. I loved breast feeding counseling, and I love doula work. I've been blessed enough to be so happy with my work that I felt guilty for getting paid!
In a similar vein, Shane is in a "dead end" job, meaning he can't move up the ladder much in the position he's in. But he loves it. He enjoys being outside, working with just a couple inmates at a time, seeing the county side every day, and doing physical labor. I am thrilled that he enjoys his work. I remember a time about a dozen years ago when he hated his job. He was a different man. Depressed and unmotivated. I like the 2010 version much better!
I think the key to finding work or ministry you love is to consider your passions, then think about how you can make a living within those passions. A good book is Your Life of Your Money, which stresses not giving up the abundant life God has for us (my words, not the author's) in the workplace just for stuff to enjoy on the weekends. If you are in a job you don't enjoy, I encourage you to prayerfully evaluate your talents, passions, and personality and read that book! You'll be glad you did! Don't you want to feel guilty for getting paid?!
Showing posts with label Encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Encouragement. Show all posts
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
New Years Goal-Ripple Effect
So do you remember your New Year's resolution? Well, I don't know that I can recall all mine, but I must tell you about the effects of my sweet cousin's 2010 goal.
But let me back up.
During our childhood years, until we graduated from high school, most of my cousins on one side of our family lived in the same town. We were in school together and played at each others houses. Once we grew up and had families, we hardly saw each other except major holidays. This particular cousin, Jamie, was around on Christmas but Easter brought her around long enough to make an appearance. Of course we'd always have a good time visiting at Christmas and promise to get together more during the year, but it never happened. And so it went until we started watching her now almost four year old when she was about 18 months old. We visited some each week and our old childhood friendship was rekindled.
Then Jamie lost her job and we didn't see her daily anymore. We'd talk on Facebook some and tried to stay in touch. Then 2010 came along and Jamie told me her goal was to reconnect with her family. Boy has she!
I'm so proud of my little cousin for taking the time to really do what we all mean to do. She's calling my Grandma regularly (and making me look bad!), chatting with my parents (her aunt & uncle) on Facebook, and she and I are hanging out and talking on the phone. It's all because she decided to make family a priority and to follow through.
I love it when that happens. If we could all pursue our goals with such gusto!
But let me back up.
During our childhood years, until we graduated from high school, most of my cousins on one side of our family lived in the same town. We were in school together and played at each others houses. Once we grew up and had families, we hardly saw each other except major holidays. This particular cousin, Jamie, was around on Christmas but Easter brought her around long enough to make an appearance. Of course we'd always have a good time visiting at Christmas and promise to get together more during the year, but it never happened. And so it went until we started watching her now almost four year old when she was about 18 months old. We visited some each week and our old childhood friendship was rekindled.
Then Jamie lost her job and we didn't see her daily anymore. We'd talk on Facebook some and tried to stay in touch. Then 2010 came along and Jamie told me her goal was to reconnect with her family. Boy has she!
I'm so proud of my little cousin for taking the time to really do what we all mean to do. She's calling my Grandma regularly (and making me look bad!), chatting with my parents (her aunt & uncle) on Facebook, and she and I are hanging out and talking on the phone. It's all because she decided to make family a priority and to follow through.
I love it when that happens. If we could all pursue our goals with such gusto!
Friday, February 12, 2010
A New Perspective on Mentoring
Okay, so I've been among the younger women crying out for mentor women. We're all looking for older women who have it all together, have strong marriages, raised great kids, love the Lord and have time to invest in us.
Yeah. It's not working out finding many of those, now is it? Sure there are women I know who fit that description, but for some reason, we've not hit it off in that way, ya know?
So, what's a girl to do?
I've said this part before: Pray. If God wants a certain someone in your life, then He can do it.
However, this concept is new (and not my own-thanks to my friend Beverly who shared this with me).
How about a whole cabinet of Titus II women? How about one or two who share the same hobby, one who's like-minded but further down the road in her walk with the Lord, one who cooks from scratch and one who's raised children. All married women need a mature woman to talk to about how to be the wives we need to be.
Here's another aspect we don't usually consider: They don't all have to be older than us, just further down the same road we're traveling. There are women younger than me who have it down when it comes to cloth diapering and other more naturally oriented mothering issues. You bet I'm going to go to them for help!
I feel I've been very blessed in this way. I have friends I go to for cooking advice (Thank you Jennifer & Tena!), a few friends I call for health related topics (Jen again, Shelly, Andrea, Leslie), for discernment on the low down of a situation (Summer, Leah and Stephanie), a few couple friends for wisdom regarding missions and similar kingdom work (The Wades & Tefertillers), and so on.
However, what if you don't have people like this built into your life? Here are some ideas:
May you find deep relationships that bring you closer to your goals!
Yeah. It's not working out finding many of those, now is it? Sure there are women I know who fit that description, but for some reason, we've not hit it off in that way, ya know?
So, what's a girl to do?
I've said this part before: Pray. If God wants a certain someone in your life, then He can do it.
However, this concept is new (and not my own-thanks to my friend Beverly who shared this with me).
How about a whole cabinet of Titus II women? How about one or two who share the same hobby, one who's like-minded but further down the road in her walk with the Lord, one who cooks from scratch and one who's raised children. All married women need a mature woman to talk to about how to be the wives we need to be.
Here's another aspect we don't usually consider: They don't all have to be older than us, just further down the same road we're traveling. There are women younger than me who have it down when it comes to cloth diapering and other more naturally oriented mothering issues. You bet I'm going to go to them for help!
I feel I've been very blessed in this way. I have friends I go to for cooking advice (Thank you Jennifer & Tena!), a few friends I call for health related topics (Jen again, Shelly, Andrea, Leslie), for discernment on the low down of a situation (Summer, Leah and Stephanie), a few couple friends for wisdom regarding missions and similar kingdom work (The Wades & Tefertillers), and so on.
However, what if you don't have people like this built into your life? Here are some ideas:
- Pray!
- Start thinking of women in your life and their strengths.
- Consider how you might tap into those resources. Some might be a phone call away-like calling a friend for a recipe or cooking advice. Getting advice from some might mean a lunch date (how fun!).
- Expand your list of women you might not see regularly but you wouldn't mind getting to know better. I called my newish sister in law a few months ago for advice on how to make good chicken and dumplings. She was honored and glad to help, and it gave us one more experience to share.
- Don't let shyness stop you. Women are usually honored to be ask to share their specialty.
- Try asking your pastor or his wife for suggestions from within your church.
May you find deep relationships that bring you closer to your goals!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Miracle (Warning: graphic photo)
We had a baby dedication ceremony Sunday at church. All babies born in 2008 and 2009 were invited to be a part. It was sweet to have Audrey there. One of the promises we as parents made in front of our church family was to remember our children are special gifts. Shane and I spoke later about what we were thinking in that moment.
This is what was on our minds:
This is what was on our minds:
This is my placenta from my fourth pregnancy. It was a successful VBAC with an post term baby. You can see in the photo of a finger pointing at a knot. That's what we were thinking about. We have another set of pictures from Audrey's birth with a similar picture of a knotted cord.
Knotted cords can be fatal. Imagine your child's oxygen and food supply threatened for weeks and weeks while mom and dad continue on without a clue! Babies' cords knot way before the end of the pregnancy; they knot when babies still have the freedom to use it as a jump rope. Thankfully, neither of our daughters' cords knotted during pregnancy, although Audrey's may have tightened during labor, sending us for an emergency Cesarean birth. This is a very present part of our lives. We think about it on a weekly basis, even though our knotted cord babies are ages 3 and 1!
Having children so narrowly escape death has made us especially thankful for their little lives. It's helped us have grace for our little tornado Jaika.
The reality is, and I've said this here before, is that all of us have escaped death, probably narrowly as well. Who knows how many times God protected us from being in an fatal car accident by placing us behind a farmer on a John Deere (happens in this rural area all the time!)?
All of us are fearfully and wonderfully made, with a purpose put before us by a Holy God. Your life is precious and has meaning. May your heavenly Father confirm that in your heart today.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
"I want to live like I was 70 yesterday...
and God gave me a chance to live all my younger days..."
The lyrics to a GS Megaphone song go something like that. It's inspirational for me. Even more inspirational is seeing it done in real life. At my doula training, our ages came up. One of the women was 57 and she soon learned she wasn't the only one nearing her sixth decade-one other trainee and our trainer were all about the same age.
It's one thing for a woman well established in her career, like our trainer, to be mature and still learning, but how about someone becoming a doula at age 57? Isn't that great?
I know there are challenges. I was whining at the training about needing to sift through all my breastfeeding knowledge to sort out what's dated and what's valid. My more mature friends have years worth of information to sort through! The key is they aren't hindered by it; they keep plugging away anyway!
I want to keep learning until I'm six feet under. I want to instill that love for learning into my children. That's one reason we love Sonlight. We also try to live a life of discovery as a family, always sharing what we're learning, especially about science since we have a science geek daddy in the house! We take the time to explain things to our kids. Just today Bethany and I were driving through new road contruction and we talked about what the workers were doing with all the rocks they were digging up and why they couldn't just leave them in the ground.
What's out there you want to do before you're "too old" (whatever that means)? Well, hop to it, friend!
The lyrics to a GS Megaphone song go something like that. It's inspirational for me. Even more inspirational is seeing it done in real life. At my doula training, our ages came up. One of the women was 57 and she soon learned she wasn't the only one nearing her sixth decade-one other trainee and our trainer were all about the same age.
It's one thing for a woman well established in her career, like our trainer, to be mature and still learning, but how about someone becoming a doula at age 57? Isn't that great?
I know there are challenges. I was whining at the training about needing to sift through all my breastfeeding knowledge to sort out what's dated and what's valid. My more mature friends have years worth of information to sort through! The key is they aren't hindered by it; they keep plugging away anyway!
I want to keep learning until I'm six feet under. I want to instill that love for learning into my children. That's one reason we love Sonlight. We also try to live a life of discovery as a family, always sharing what we're learning, especially about science since we have a science geek daddy in the house! We take the time to explain things to our kids. Just today Bethany and I were driving through new road contruction and we talked about what the workers were doing with all the rocks they were digging up and why they couldn't just leave them in the ground.
What's out there you want to do before you're "too old" (whatever that means)? Well, hop to it, friend!
Monday, January 25, 2010
When God is Silent
Last year at this time God let me down. Big time. Is it okay to say that without fear of a lightening strike? I believe so, but I've been tempted to save face for God's sake. Of course, he doesn't really need my help with his public relations, so I'm just going to be real about it.
In my last post, I talked about asking God for help. There are times when he doesn't help like we want him to. Last year we had (like we usually do) several pieces of property in which we must pay taxes on. I knew the tax money was not in our budget. I prayed. I know God clothes the lily of the valley, and he knows if one sparrow falls. He wants us to give unto Caesar what is Caesar's so I knew he wanted us to pay the taxes. No brainer, just trust God, right? Well, I did. I knew worry wouldn't make money appear in my bank account and that we'd spent wisely yet still didn't have the necessary funds due at the end of January. So, I fully expected God to come through by January 31st.
Well, he didn't. And it hurt.
I was confused. My pride was hurt. I didn't want to pay penalties. Perfectionists don't pay penalties.
Okay, it's not like we were getting hauled to tax court or anything, and when we got or income tax refund, we paid them all in full, no problem. But what about my faith? Where was God?
I've felt let down all year. I read scripture about God rescuing his people, about him providing and something in my heart said, "Yeah, but not for us, not for my family...He's forgotten us (remember we've had land on the market for over a year...when it sells our lives will be perfect, ya know)."
Yet I learned last week that God was silent for over 400 years in the Old Testament. The silence of God is an age old question, not just something I alone have felt (which is what the devil would like me to believe).
We can hold fast to his promises that he will never leave us or forsake us, even if we don't feel like he's with us, he says he is. He does not change. He's the same God if he's speaking to us or not. Someone giving me wise counsel said to me, "Wendy, Satan may have wanted to mess with you and God said, 'Go ahead, take her out and play with her a while, she'll still be mine when you're done.'"
Well, now, that sounds like a challenge to me! A challenge is always the way to motivate me! I am challenged to be God's girl no matter what games Satan is trying to play with me. I want to be known as the woman who still stood firm in her knowledge of Who's she is.
Guess who's budget doesn't have enough funds for taxes this January? Satan vs Wendy, round two!
It's okay, we know Who's side wins in the end, don't we!
In my last post, I talked about asking God for help. There are times when he doesn't help like we want him to. Last year we had (like we usually do) several pieces of property in which we must pay taxes on. I knew the tax money was not in our budget. I prayed. I know God clothes the lily of the valley, and he knows if one sparrow falls. He wants us to give unto Caesar what is Caesar's so I knew he wanted us to pay the taxes. No brainer, just trust God, right? Well, I did. I knew worry wouldn't make money appear in my bank account and that we'd spent wisely yet still didn't have the necessary funds due at the end of January. So, I fully expected God to come through by January 31st.
Well, he didn't. And it hurt.
I was confused. My pride was hurt. I didn't want to pay penalties. Perfectionists don't pay penalties.
Okay, it's not like we were getting hauled to tax court or anything, and when we got or income tax refund, we paid them all in full, no problem. But what about my faith? Where was God?
I've felt let down all year. I read scripture about God rescuing his people, about him providing and something in my heart said, "Yeah, but not for us, not for my family...He's forgotten us (remember we've had land on the market for over a year...when it sells our lives will be perfect, ya know)."
Yet I learned last week that God was silent for over 400 years in the Old Testament. The silence of God is an age old question, not just something I alone have felt (which is what the devil would like me to believe).
We can hold fast to his promises that he will never leave us or forsake us, even if we don't feel like he's with us, he says he is. He does not change. He's the same God if he's speaking to us or not. Someone giving me wise counsel said to me, "Wendy, Satan may have wanted to mess with you and God said, 'Go ahead, take her out and play with her a while, she'll still be mine when you're done.'"
Well, now, that sounds like a challenge to me! A challenge is always the way to motivate me! I am challenged to be God's girl no matter what games Satan is trying to play with me. I want to be known as the woman who still stood firm in her knowledge of Who's she is.
Guess who's budget doesn't have enough funds for taxes this January? Satan vs Wendy, round two!
It's okay, we know Who's side wins in the end, don't we!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Doula Wendy
So, I thought I'd let you know where I am today. I'm not home...I'm not even typing this today, I've typed it up ahead of time so you won't start bugging me with being on Facebook too much instead of blogging! I'm not even on Facebook...I'm being trained as a doula!
This Thursday, Friday and Saturday is the training required for doula certification through DONA International. I can't believe this week is finally here! I'd like to share how it came to be.
Last summer, I realized I am now in a season of life where I can become a doula, or professional childbirth assistant. My youngest child is our last child and she's old enough to do without me for longer stretches of time. Shane's job has changed to have much better hours and my oldest girls can help watch the younger ones for a short while if a sitter isn't available right away. We could also use the money and birth is a passion of mine.
So I started checking into training, but they were all in south Texas. The trainings cost about $350, plus travel expenses...then what would I do with Audrey, who is still nursing? Leave her for four days and hope my milk supply lasted? Take my whole family to stay in the hotel so I can have access to her? There was no solution.
I prayed and prayed for a solution.
Finally I had the idea (not of my origin, I assure you) to call trainers in the Dallas area to see if they'd conduct a training. There are two and one of them said she would be glad to! Not only that, but that holding it nearer to my home might even allow women from Oklahoma to attend. The trainer (who is also a believer) asked me to be the "hostess" in which I do most of the footwork for it in exchange for free tuition! My heart was jumping for joy when she asked that! God did indeed provide. I am certain that as you read this, He is providing even more blessings-top notch training and the initiation of potentially long term friendships with other trainees. Isn't he good?
Next time you think you have a problem too big to solve, ask him for help! He's your number one fan after all!
This Thursday, Friday and Saturday is the training required for doula certification through DONA International. I can't believe this week is finally here! I'd like to share how it came to be.
Last summer, I realized I am now in a season of life where I can become a doula, or professional childbirth assistant. My youngest child is our last child and she's old enough to do without me for longer stretches of time. Shane's job has changed to have much better hours and my oldest girls can help watch the younger ones for a short while if a sitter isn't available right away. We could also use the money and birth is a passion of mine.
So I started checking into training, but they were all in south Texas. The trainings cost about $350, plus travel expenses...then what would I do with Audrey, who is still nursing? Leave her for four days and hope my milk supply lasted? Take my whole family to stay in the hotel so I can have access to her? There was no solution.
I prayed and prayed for a solution.
Finally I had the idea (not of my origin, I assure you) to call trainers in the Dallas area to see if they'd conduct a training. There are two and one of them said she would be glad to! Not only that, but that holding it nearer to my home might even allow women from Oklahoma to attend. The trainer (who is also a believer) asked me to be the "hostess" in which I do most of the footwork for it in exchange for free tuition! My heart was jumping for joy when she asked that! God did indeed provide. I am certain that as you read this, He is providing even more blessings-top notch training and the initiation of potentially long term friendships with other trainees. Isn't he good?
Next time you think you have a problem too big to solve, ask him for help! He's your number one fan after all!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Mentoring in Modern Times
For most of my life, I've had a mentor. A Titus 2 woman is what we call it in Christian circles. As a teen, I worked in the school library one period my junior and senior year and Mrs. A listened to my drama. I'm sure she prayed for me many, many times. She was so wise and gracious. I'll never forget her tenderness to me.
During my college days, my intern supervisor coached me in marriage, parenting, and spiritual matters. We're still close friends today, although she claims I mentor her as much as she does me. I'm not so sure I agree...
At this moment, I don't have an intense mentoring relationship. I have an accountability group and lots of friends who support me, but no older woman really mentoring me. I was recently talking to a friend about this and we lamented that it's simply hard to find a mentor these days. Although it's not easy, it is worth the search. All those resolutions you made last week? A mentor would be a great person to help you walk those out. The benefits of a mentor are too numerous to list, but one thing is for sure, she'll change your life! It's a beautiful thing, don't miss out on this important relationship in your life.
I prayed about finding a mentor for this current season and one woman did come to mind, and I believe I could do more thinking and come up with a few more I could approach. If God wants you to be under another woman's guidance, I know he'll supply you with the perfect match. However, I think we can supplement that with some good, online influences. I have been reading Tomato Soup Cake for a couple of years now and I'm drawn back time and again because of this momma's gentle and wise ways. Grab a cup of tea and plan to spend some quiet moments soaking in her sweetness. She's in love with the Lord and it shows. Her parenting is kind and firm, and she lives a life of uniqueness. She's not concerned with living as the culture says, but as God has outlined for her. I know you'll love her!
During my college days, my intern supervisor coached me in marriage, parenting, and spiritual matters. We're still close friends today, although she claims I mentor her as much as she does me. I'm not so sure I agree...
At this moment, I don't have an intense mentoring relationship. I have an accountability group and lots of friends who support me, but no older woman really mentoring me. I was recently talking to a friend about this and we lamented that it's simply hard to find a mentor these days. Although it's not easy, it is worth the search. All those resolutions you made last week? A mentor would be a great person to help you walk those out. The benefits of a mentor are too numerous to list, but one thing is for sure, she'll change your life! It's a beautiful thing, don't miss out on this important relationship in your life.
I prayed about finding a mentor for this current season and one woman did come to mind, and I believe I could do more thinking and come up with a few more I could approach. If God wants you to be under another woman's guidance, I know he'll supply you with the perfect match. However, I think we can supplement that with some good, online influences. I have been reading Tomato Soup Cake for a couple of years now and I'm drawn back time and again because of this momma's gentle and wise ways. Grab a cup of tea and plan to spend some quiet moments soaking in her sweetness. She's in love with the Lord and it shows. Her parenting is kind and firm, and she lives a life of uniqueness. She's not concerned with living as the culture says, but as God has outlined for her. I know you'll love her!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
This is Bliss
This feeling right now-this is what life is all about. Well, okay, not spiritually, but just hang with me.
Shane is about to be home for a long weekend (as if we aren't blessed with long enough weekends, we are extra excited that he actually gets holidays off now!). The house is mostly clean. The kids are playing nicely with a friend over, and I'm catching up on my feed reader while watching Audrey toddle around the dinning room. (Y'all know she's walking now, right? She's almost 10 months old and has been walking for a good month or so).
We have plans for Life Group at our house and some friends we've known for about 15 years are coming over this weekend. The guys will go fish or something while the moms take the kids to the park and then cook dinner together. The weather is mild and I'm about to go turn on my tart burners to release the butterscotch aroma Audrey and I picked out when buying tarts the other day. It just feels good. My heart is content.
I know it's not much, but as a recovering perfectionist momma to five starting out the school year, it's a lot to feel this good right now. I hope your Labor Day weekend is equally blissful as you absorb the special moments going on all around you.
Shane is about to be home for a long weekend (as if we aren't blessed with long enough weekends, we are extra excited that he actually gets holidays off now!). The house is mostly clean. The kids are playing nicely with a friend over, and I'm catching up on my feed reader while watching Audrey toddle around the dinning room. (Y'all know she's walking now, right? She's almost 10 months old and has been walking for a good month or so).
We have plans for Life Group at our house and some friends we've known for about 15 years are coming over this weekend. The guys will go fish or something while the moms take the kids to the park and then cook dinner together. The weather is mild and I'm about to go turn on my tart burners to release the butterscotch aroma Audrey and I picked out when buying tarts the other day. It just feels good. My heart is content.
I know it's not much, but as a recovering perfectionist momma to five starting out the school year, it's a lot to feel this good right now. I hope your Labor Day weekend is equally blissful as you absorb the special moments going on all around you.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Progress Report
So how are those New Year's Resolutions working out for you?
Oh yeah, those...
I must admit I can't recite mine off the top of my head but I think they were to not eat sugar, to try more things, and I'm sure to read my Bible more.
I'm still sugar free and along with the rest of my group plan to finish out strong. Trying new things-well, I am making baby steps. Uhh, Bible...well, my book mark is in May in my One Year Bible. I'm chugging along but obviously not hitting it every day.
This post isn't a guilt trip, don't worry. I have just realized that when Fall comes, there's a new wave of freshness in the air, don't you think? If you have school aged kids, you are probably starting them out with fresh clothes & crayons, a new school year, and new goals. I know with
home school moms, this is far reaching as we also feel the need to get our houses in order.
So, what are you thinking for Fall?
I've been working on the doula gig this summer and am now in more of a waiting mode-waiting for clients and waiting for the workshop to come together. So, doula-ing is a sort of fresh start, teaching the girls again this school year, starting a little PreK with Jaika, starting a new Beth Moore Bible study, and as silly as it sounds, I feel I have a little of a fresh start with my new-to-me laptop. It's ALL MINE so I can install anything I want and have only my stuff bookmarked. Sorry, I got a little carried away thinking of a possession I get all to myself. You know, like the washing machine.
Any new goals in your life? Any old goals that need revamping? Do share, I love goals almost as much as I love my children!
Oh yeah, those...
I must admit I can't recite mine off the top of my head but I think they were to not eat sugar, to try more things, and I'm sure to read my Bible more.
I'm still sugar free and along with the rest of my group plan to finish out strong. Trying new things-well, I am making baby steps. Uhh, Bible...well, my book mark is in May in my One Year Bible. I'm chugging along but obviously not hitting it every day.
This post isn't a guilt trip, don't worry. I have just realized that when Fall comes, there's a new wave of freshness in the air, don't you think? If you have school aged kids, you are probably starting them out with fresh clothes & crayons, a new school year, and new goals. I know with
home school moms, this is far reaching as we also feel the need to get our houses in order.
So, what are you thinking for Fall?
I've been working on the doula gig this summer and am now in more of a waiting mode-waiting for clients and waiting for the workshop to come together. So, doula-ing is a sort of fresh start, teaching the girls again this school year, starting a little PreK with Jaika, starting a new Beth Moore Bible study, and as silly as it sounds, I feel I have a little of a fresh start with my new-to-me laptop. It's ALL MINE so I can install anything I want and have only my stuff bookmarked. Sorry, I got a little carried away thinking of a possession I get all to myself. You know, like the washing machine.
Any new goals in your life? Any old goals that need revamping? Do share, I love goals almost as much as I love my children!
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Biggie-Forgiveness of Self
A few weeks ago I posted the redemption story I'd experienced with my good friend. Out of that post a question came up about the hardest part of forgiveness, forgiveness of self.
When we are part of the problem and have come to admit it, the next obstacle is moving past the phase of beating ourselves up and into forgiveness. It's complex, abstract, and individual. It can even be a stronghold of the devil.
I write from my primary experience with this, through watching other women as they walk the road of abortion recovery. Much of my framework for this topic flows from this point of view, but the principles here can apply to many situations. Also, this is hardly an exhaustive coverage, but more like a springboard to get you thinking and praying.
Consider these things as you work through forgiving yourself:
Are you placing yourself higher than God? Often it is easier to allow God to forgive us (if this is not the case for you, please talk to a mature believer about it) than for us to let go of our sin. If the God of the universe, maker of heaven & earth has removed our sin, who are we to hold tightly to it? We then put ourselves in the place of ignorantly acting as we know better than God.
Our sin has become our pet. It's more comfortable to become the victim of our sin, to know all its ins and outs, to be the resident expert on it. This is actually entrapment! What growth lies ahead for the person who can look to the future and not to the past! Sure, use your past as a testimony for what the Lord can do, share it to minister to other people, but don't let it be your only story-there's more life ahead, don't miss it! Don't get so comfortable with the grief that you enjoy wrapping yourself warmly in it-let it go, there's freedom in shedding the layers!
Is your sin tied to something or someone you don't want to forget? Sometimes women don't want to heal fully from their abortion because they're afraid they'll forget their baby. Forgiving and forgetting aren't the same at all, my friend. Instead of a memory thick with guilt and condemnation, the memory of the sin (or the other people/places involved) will become a beautiful, built-from-the-ashes kind of memory. If you want a tangible memory, consider journaling about it, planting a tree in the honor of the aborted child (or appropriate person) or making a donation in honor/memory of the event or person involved.
Are you punishing yourself? Many women punish themselves when they avoid steps to healing, especially after an abortion. They feel if the world won't punish them, then they'll just do it themselves. Consequences of sin, such as a broken marriage as the consequence of adultery are not punishment, but consequences. God does not punish us after he's granted us forgiveness, therefore we have no business punishing ourselves.
The devil has his hand in it. This is not an "if" this is a fact. If the devil can keep you stuck he will. He will therefore diminish your ability to find peace and to use your pain to minister to others. Remember to see him as he is-a forfeit, the king of lies, your vilest enemy. Don't play into his hand!
Your Father wants you to have life and have it abundantly-which means not walking around with your head hung down in guilt & shame. Once you walk with your head held high, you can see all the hurting people who need the hope of your story. Don't hand the "life abundant" part over to the devil!
I'll leave you with this scripture:
Isaiah 61:1-4 (New International Version)
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long ago devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.
This is a hard topic to face. If you want someone to bounce things off of, to ask questions or to pray with you, feel free to email me at allgirlhomeschool@yahoo.com. A wonderful study on the subject of forgiveness is Beth Moore's Breaking Free.
When we are part of the problem and have come to admit it, the next obstacle is moving past the phase of beating ourselves up and into forgiveness. It's complex, abstract, and individual. It can even be a stronghold of the devil.
I write from my primary experience with this, through watching other women as they walk the road of abortion recovery. Much of my framework for this topic flows from this point of view, but the principles here can apply to many situations. Also, this is hardly an exhaustive coverage, but more like a springboard to get you thinking and praying.
Consider these things as you work through forgiving yourself:
Are you placing yourself higher than God? Often it is easier to allow God to forgive us (if this is not the case for you, please talk to a mature believer about it) than for us to let go of our sin. If the God of the universe, maker of heaven & earth has removed our sin, who are we to hold tightly to it? We then put ourselves in the place of ignorantly acting as we know better than God.
Our sin has become our pet. It's more comfortable to become the victim of our sin, to know all its ins and outs, to be the resident expert on it. This is actually entrapment! What growth lies ahead for the person who can look to the future and not to the past! Sure, use your past as a testimony for what the Lord can do, share it to minister to other people, but don't let it be your only story-there's more life ahead, don't miss it! Don't get so comfortable with the grief that you enjoy wrapping yourself warmly in it-let it go, there's freedom in shedding the layers!
Is your sin tied to something or someone you don't want to forget? Sometimes women don't want to heal fully from their abortion because they're afraid they'll forget their baby. Forgiving and forgetting aren't the same at all, my friend. Instead of a memory thick with guilt and condemnation, the memory of the sin (or the other people/places involved) will become a beautiful, built-from-the-ashes kind of memory. If you want a tangible memory, consider journaling about it, planting a tree in the honor of the aborted child (or appropriate person) or making a donation in honor/memory of the event or person involved.
Are you punishing yourself? Many women punish themselves when they avoid steps to healing, especially after an abortion. They feel if the world won't punish them, then they'll just do it themselves. Consequences of sin, such as a broken marriage as the consequence of adultery are not punishment, but consequences. God does not punish us after he's granted us forgiveness, therefore we have no business punishing ourselves.
The devil has his hand in it. This is not an "if" this is a fact. If the devil can keep you stuck he will. He will therefore diminish your ability to find peace and to use your pain to minister to others. Remember to see him as he is-a forfeit, the king of lies, your vilest enemy. Don't play into his hand!
Your Father wants you to have life and have it abundantly-which means not walking around with your head hung down in guilt & shame. Once you walk with your head held high, you can see all the hurting people who need the hope of your story. Don't hand the "life abundant" part over to the devil!
I'll leave you with this scripture:
Isaiah 61:1-4 (New International Version)
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long ago devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.
This is a hard topic to face. If you want someone to bounce things off of, to ask questions or to pray with you, feel free to email me at allgirlhomeschool@yahoo.com. A wonderful study on the subject of forgiveness is Beth Moore's Breaking Free.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Encouragement to Homeschoolers
This blessed me this morning, I hope it blesses you moms & dads who are wearing not only the hat of parent but the educator as well. It came from this week's The Homeschool Minute, which is a weekly email from The Old Schoolhouse magazine.
It's Just Common SenseRuth Beechick, Curriculum Specialist
My favorite thing about homeschool is you homeschoolers yourselves. I love to read homeschoolers on chat groups exchanging creative ideas, asking and answering questions, encouraging one another. You all are the freest people on earth, and are using your freedom wisely. You are a great hope for our future. Feeling somewhat isolated in your house, you probably have a hard time seeing that; but from my particular vantage point, that's what I see. Please don't get discouraged and quit. Well, maybe you'll get discouraged at times, but please don't quit.--Ruth
It's Just Common SenseRuth Beechick, Curriculum Specialist
My favorite thing about homeschool is you homeschoolers yourselves. I love to read homeschoolers on chat groups exchanging creative ideas, asking and answering questions, encouraging one another. You all are the freest people on earth, and are using your freedom wisely. You are a great hope for our future. Feeling somewhat isolated in your house, you probably have a hard time seeing that; but from my particular vantage point, that's what I see. Please don't get discouraged and quit. Well, maybe you'll get discouraged at times, but please don't quit.--Ruth
Friday, June 13, 2008
I was about to wash dishes (a lot of them-it's been a while...) and thought I'd make the chore a little more fun by listening to something from oneplace.com. I get over there, click on Family Life Today and find this article about hospitality, messy houses and friendship.
You know, for those of you who struggle with a slightly lived in look...or the perfectionism that makes the messy days bad days.
I've been thinking about perfectionism a lot in the last year or so and truly believe it is bondage (although I've worn the perfectionist badge with pride in the past--ahhh, that's probably why God's given me a gaggle of children--I do believe it's impossible to be a sane perfectionist mommy of many!).
Oh, and just so you know, a determined toddler is fully capable of opening a watermelon. Did you know a watermelon will split in half with only a 3.5 foot fall from the kitchen counter? So, I'll be washing dishes and mopping the floor!
You know, for those of you who struggle with a slightly lived in look...or the perfectionism that makes the messy days bad days.
I've been thinking about perfectionism a lot in the last year or so and truly believe it is bondage (although I've worn the perfectionist badge with pride in the past--ahhh, that's probably why God's given me a gaggle of children--I do believe it's impossible to be a sane perfectionist mommy of many!).
Oh, and just so you know, a determined toddler is fully capable of opening a watermelon. Did you know a watermelon will split in half with only a 3.5 foot fall from the kitchen counter? So, I'll be washing dishes and mopping the floor!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
A Gift from the Lord
I just have to share what happened this morning. I set about to do my dishes this morning and mop the floor before the kids got up. It was quiet and I went to the computer to find something to listen to while working. I usually go for Nancy Leigh Demoss but needed a break today. I went to www.oneplace.com and scanned the selection of ministries available to listen to. I listened to a short commentary on the Texas LDS compound and then went to Family Life Today.
You would never guess what the topics were at the end of last week. Surprise pregnancies.
I clicked on May 1st broadcast and immediately started crying. The woman about to be interviewed had four children and was feeling much like I do when she found out she was pregnant with number 5. She put words to everything I'm feeling. Except that she wished for a miscarriage, my emotions line up perfectly with hers.
Shane came in and saw me misty eyed. I assured him these were tears of joy, joy that the Lord knew just what I needed this morning and that I am not alone or crazy or abnormal. Well, the last two might be debatable ;0)
If you care to listen to the broadcasts: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/FamilyLife_Today/archives.asp?bcd=2008-5-2
You'll have to catch the first one of the 2 in the series today or they might be off the oneplace site. I'm sure you could find them at the Family Life website, though.
You would never guess what the topics were at the end of last week. Surprise pregnancies.
I clicked on May 1st broadcast and immediately started crying. The woman about to be interviewed had four children and was feeling much like I do when she found out she was pregnant with number 5. She put words to everything I'm feeling. Except that she wished for a miscarriage, my emotions line up perfectly with hers.
Shane came in and saw me misty eyed. I assured him these were tears of joy, joy that the Lord knew just what I needed this morning and that I am not alone or crazy or abnormal. Well, the last two might be debatable ;0)
If you care to listen to the broadcasts: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/FamilyLife_Today/archives.asp?bcd=2008-5-2
You'll have to catch the first one of the 2 in the series today or they might be off the oneplace site. I'm sure you could find them at the Family Life website, though.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
I've talked to my closest local friends and to Shane about my rather neutral feelings about this baby. I'm going to be real and put it out here for you all to read as well.
When I found out I was pregnant, I blogged about waking up weeping later that night. After we started telling people and the responses were so giddy, I got more excited. However, as time goes on I've mellowed back to being not-so-excited. Do the hormones, morning sickness and fatigue have something to do with it? Without a doubt. I know in previous pregnancies, I couldn't even look at maternity clothes or cute baby things without mentally gagging until I was very clear of the first trimester.
But there is more. Probably because my parenting (and house cleaning and financial planning) skills have taken a back seat to survival, I'm viewing the situation through blue colored glasses. The usual optimistic Wendy is dreading parenting one more baby. I know if I had my normal energy back, I'd feel invigorated by the challenge (maybe!) but I'm not there yet.
So, while I'm waiting for that energy to return (any moment would be fine by me!), I'm anxious. I've been parenting the lazy way for two months. You know, with the attitude of "just get out of my hair" kind of problem solving, not true discipling of my children. The thought of another curtain climber (and if this one is anything like Jaybird, a true curtain climber she/he may be), makes me want to just go back to bed.
This is not how I want to live. So, this morning I'm seeking some encouragement from the Bible and I turn to Philippians. Its quiet and I get to read the whole book (all four chapters). Chapter 4 verses 4-7 say this:
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The first time I read it through today, I read verse 5 to say, "Let your gladness be evident to all." Gladness goes much better with rejoicing, wouldn't you say? After I reread it, I prayed, "Lord, what is Paul talking about? What does gentleness have to do with rejoicing?" I felt in my heart that when we are in an attitude of rejoicing, we are gentle and it can be seen by others. When I'm rejoicing, I'm not easily going to just snap at my children, I'm more likely to be the gentle parent I want to be.
I didn't read this passage, meditate on it and magically feel excited about chasing one more toddler around. But I have hope that as God works on my heart, the rejoicing will come more easily. I confessed my anxiety to him (and to you, now), I prayed and petitioned him to change my heart and I thanked him for the peace he promises will come. (Would it have been too much to ask for a maid to be included in that promise???)
I know I'm not the only one facing some anxiety that steals our joy and ability to rejoice. Be encouraged today that verse 5 ends with "the Lord is near." He's near even when we're messing it up royally. He cares and wants to give us peace.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Encouraging Friends
There were two parts of Thursday that I didn't include in my short little run down of the evening. I've wondered lately if simply being a friend is a ministry of its own. Just encouraging someone, letting them know they are valued, praying for their needs, offering companionship...I think it is a ministry--an important one.
I was thinking this in terms of me being a friend to others, not others blessing me. Thursday, though, I was blessed by pure friendship.
First, as I was answering the never ending phone calls on Thursday morning, a volunteer's husband, Albert, called. He works with the local food & clothing outreach. In their little building downtown was a visiting missionary. Albert put the missionary on the phone and the man introduced himself, asked my name while Albert was filling him in about the big plans for the night. The man, whom I've never met, just started praying for me--praying for peace for and for all the details of the evening, for ideas and again for peace. This man is a Messianic Jew, from the tribe of Levi, the set aside tribe of the Old Testament. It really hit me today how rare it was to speak to a man of such lineage. Peace has been my theme for the year, my prayer theme, if you will, so it was touching that the Lord would send me that gift the morning of the Gala.
And closer to my heart, a friend who I won't embarrass by naming, had been following the proceedings of the day and knew I would be tempted to feel defeated, sent me a text two hours before the Gala. It read: Relax :) Everything is going to be great! God's plans are always better than ours. Let's rock this party!
Friendship ministry may be the most important ministry after ministering to our husbands and children...
I was thinking this in terms of me being a friend to others, not others blessing me. Thursday, though, I was blessed by pure friendship.
First, as I was answering the never ending phone calls on Thursday morning, a volunteer's husband, Albert, called. He works with the local food & clothing outreach. In their little building downtown was a visiting missionary. Albert put the missionary on the phone and the man introduced himself, asked my name while Albert was filling him in about the big plans for the night. The man, whom I've never met, just started praying for me--praying for peace for and for all the details of the evening, for ideas and again for peace. This man is a Messianic Jew, from the tribe of Levi, the set aside tribe of the Old Testament. It really hit me today how rare it was to speak to a man of such lineage. Peace has been my theme for the year, my prayer theme, if you will, so it was touching that the Lord would send me that gift the morning of the Gala.
And closer to my heart, a friend who I won't embarrass by naming, had been following the proceedings of the day and knew I would be tempted to feel defeated, sent me a text two hours before the Gala. It read: Relax :) Everything is going to be great! God's plans are always better than ours. Let's rock this party!
Friendship ministry may be the most important ministry after ministering to our husbands and children...
Monday, December 31, 2007
I found this encouraging
While listening to Nancy Leigh DeMoss tonight, I heard an encouraging teaching about working (in our homes) joyfully. There was an especially good example of how'd I'd like to be (text taken from Nancy's transcript):
One writer I read on Proverbs 31 said, “Only love can make such diligent service sweet and delightful. Where love is lacking, this work will be the worst drudgery.” Some of you are familiar with the name Brother Lawrence. He was a 17th century monk whose job in the religious order that he was in was to work in the kitchen. But he learned to do it with a cheerful heart, out of love for God. And then there comes to us in his book, The Practice of the Presence of God, the great little classic, that I think is so encouraging to us as women as we do our work.
He said, “The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer.” And keep in mind what his business was: working in the kitchen—kitchen crew, kitchen cleanup—that was his job. He said, “My job, my work, does not with me differ from the time of prayer, and in the noise and clutter of my kitchen, while several persons at the same time are calling for different things.”
Does this sound like your life? Any of you that are mothers at home—several persons calling at you at the same time for different things? He said, “In the midst of all that noise and clutter, I possessed God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees in prayer.”
Isn’t that great! Now, he didn’t start out that way, I’ll just tell you that. As you read The Practice of the Presence of God, you see that this was a process for him. But that most menial and manual labor becomes holy. It becomes sanctified, consecrated, when I give it up to God as an offering.
And you can think as a mom, in the midst of the cleaning up, the picking up, the straightening up, the putting up, the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, all the things that you do to help make a home for your family; that you can possess God in your spirit in as much tranquility as if your were on your knees with your Bible open and in prayer, because you do your work as unto the Lord, with the willing heart.
I know that was long, but if you got through it, wasn't it good? I needed to hear that and from talking to several of my friends, I know I'm not the only one. If you want to hear this series of messages (or others related to women's issues) go to her site, click "radio" then "past programs". I use the option of looking for shows by topic. This Prov 31 series is under Biblical Womanhood. For simplicity, I've linked to the list of Biblical Womanhood shows here.
One writer I read on Proverbs 31 said, “Only love can make such diligent service sweet and delightful. Where love is lacking, this work will be the worst drudgery.” Some of you are familiar with the name Brother Lawrence. He was a 17th century monk whose job in the religious order that he was in was to work in the kitchen. But he learned to do it with a cheerful heart, out of love for God. And then there comes to us in his book, The Practice of the Presence of God, the great little classic, that I think is so encouraging to us as women as we do our work.
He said, “The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer.” And keep in mind what his business was: working in the kitchen—kitchen crew, kitchen cleanup—that was his job. He said, “My job, my work, does not with me differ from the time of prayer, and in the noise and clutter of my kitchen, while several persons at the same time are calling for different things.”
Does this sound like your life? Any of you that are mothers at home—several persons calling at you at the same time for different things? He said, “In the midst of all that noise and clutter, I possessed God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees in prayer.”
Isn’t that great! Now, he didn’t start out that way, I’ll just tell you that. As you read The Practice of the Presence of God, you see that this was a process for him. But that most menial and manual labor becomes holy. It becomes sanctified, consecrated, when I give it up to God as an offering.
And you can think as a mom, in the midst of the cleaning up, the picking up, the straightening up, the putting up, the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, all the things that you do to help make a home for your family; that you can possess God in your spirit in as much tranquility as if your were on your knees with your Bible open and in prayer, because you do your work as unto the Lord, with the willing heart.
I know that was long, but if you got through it, wasn't it good? I needed to hear that and from talking to several of my friends, I know I'm not the only one. If you want to hear this series of messages (or others related to women's issues) go to her site, click "radio" then "past programs". I use the option of looking for shows by topic. This Prov 31 series is under Biblical Womanhood. For simplicity, I've linked to the list of Biblical Womanhood shows here.
Another Bethie
I love the name Beth. I love Beths. I've never met a Beth I didn't like. I especially like my Beth, who we also call Bethy, BB (her first initials), and Betha (and we occasionally call her by her full name, lol).
Of the grown up varieties of Bethies, I like Beth Moore the best. I've not done enough of her great Bible studies (who could ever get enough?). I do love love love her book Further Still a compilation of her poems and essays from some of her studies and I totally fell in love with her watching the Fruit of the Spirit Bible Study on DVD.
Imagine my delight when Shane randomly found her blog today. I don't even know if he knows who she is (I doubt he does), but for some strange reason, he was blog hopping this morning. I was chore hopping and kept coming back to look over his shoulder as he'd comment on something he was reading. He ended up following a homeschool blogging trail and as I glanced over his shoulder, I briefly saw one of the last lines of a blog entry that mentioned and linked to Beth Moore's blog. I came back later this morning to check it out and I have found treasure!
So, my two favorite women's ministries are now a part of my daily life-Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio programs I listen to via my computer while cleaning my kitchen (I'm currently listening to her great Proverbs 31 teaching) and Beth Moore's blog. There's more to Beth's site, I just haven't had time to explore it too much.
If your new year includes enriching your Bible study intake, go check out these sites! Enjoy!
Of the grown up varieties of Bethies, I like Beth Moore the best. I've not done enough of her great Bible studies (who could ever get enough?). I do love love love her book Further Still a compilation of her poems and essays from some of her studies and I totally fell in love with her watching the Fruit of the Spirit Bible Study on DVD.
Imagine my delight when Shane randomly found her blog today. I don't even know if he knows who she is (I doubt he does), but for some strange reason, he was blog hopping this morning. I was chore hopping and kept coming back to look over his shoulder as he'd comment on something he was reading. He ended up following a homeschool blogging trail and as I glanced over his shoulder, I briefly saw one of the last lines of a blog entry that mentioned and linked to Beth Moore's blog. I came back later this morning to check it out and I have found treasure!
So, my two favorite women's ministries are now a part of my daily life-Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio programs I listen to via my computer while cleaning my kitchen (I'm currently listening to her great Proverbs 31 teaching) and Beth Moore's blog. There's more to Beth's site, I just haven't had time to explore it too much.
If your new year includes enriching your Bible study intake, go check out these sites! Enjoy!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Having a rough day?
I wrote this post last week but didn't publish it until now. It got buried on the second page...so if it'd help to be reminded that we're all in this muck & mire together, go read it :)
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