Wisdom on Balance

Sally Clarkson, one of my favorite women, posted this on Facebook today. I thought it was especially wise. I'm going to cut and paste it into a Word document so I can go back to it as I need to hear it again (daily? hourly?). I think you'll find some freedom here, so I'll let you get to it.

Balance is Oversold -Sally Clarkson

Today as I was whizzing in the car to Kohl's (afterall, I had a 30% coupon in my hot little hand) looking for jeans and a couple of things that Joy needed, all the while keeping in mind that she has a meeting I have to drive her to in an hour.

Also knowing that I have to pick up some medication for the sinus infection I have developed with an internal ear infection (going on since Michigan--five weeks ago) and have an appointment with friends to pray at 5 and then pick Joy up from her meeting, and then go back to Walmart for the things she will need while I am gone;

and then to a cooking class with Sarah and Joy-- we signed up for a while ago, and then meeting friends who are flying in from out of town at their hotel at 9; finish packing and then leave for the airport with Clay and Sarah at 7:30 in the morning,

and I think--my life is not in balance--but I can still walk with God, have joy, enjoy my minutes and the ones in my life at each moment, and make it through one minute at a time.

My home is not in balance--I know that when I fly to 5 cities in 7 weeks, that my house will get messier than usual and need a good cleaning when I get home--that if I am going to be faithful to schooling when I am home and making meals and having quiet times in between all the prep for conferences--that things will pile up and go by the way side--but I also know I have a plan for getting it all together when I get home.

I know it will take all of us a few days just to sleep enough to have the energy to clean and straighten up--but I know that we will get to it and I will feel good about my home again.

I liked what a friend said to me, "The ticking hand on a clock is only in balance at one point while the fulcrum swings back and forth between the two sides."

And so my life goes--in perfect balance once in a while--but always swinging between the two tensions.

My life wasn't in balance when I had 3 children under 5 and I had to nurse them and deal with ear infections and asthma.

My life wasn't in balance very often amidst the 17 moves--6 times internationally--seemed often I was packing or unpacking--

My life wasn't in balance when I had 3 teenagers and an elementary aged child who just wanted to play and read picture books, while we were staying up late with our teens talking about all sorts of serious issues in life, and then getting up early with my wee, little fun one-with dark circles under my eyes.

And all the while these in my home wanted to eat, (which meant shopping, cooking and an endless stream of dishes) and wear relatively clean clothes and messes abounded--always cleaning and messing--straightening and cluttering. No balance but a lot of life and fun and discussions and work and corrections--a stream of life never ending, but flowing to yet another new challenge and season of life.

I think I would have been so much more content and joyful if I had just known at the beginning that life for me would not be balanced--but could always be meaningful--if I would just accept the limitations of each day, each season, each child, my marriage and my finances--none totally balance, perfect--but all a blessing--so that is what was going through my mind today as I was whizzing about.

I don't think scripture promises balance--Jesus's life was not balanced--he always had people chasing after him and someone was always criticizing him amidst the feeding of 5 thousands, healing lepers and forgiving prostitutes, holding children and blessing them and saying scathing things to the Pharisees--

Paul's life was certainly not balanced--even keeled--amidst prison, ship wrecks, beatings, and teachings. Peter was traveling, teaching, being persecuted--yet all of these had joy, full hearts, love and time to reach out to and teach others.

So, I was contemplating today--that if I would just see this day and all that my puzzle brings as God's will, I would be content, joyful and enjoy rest in the moments of my days.

Off to pick up Joy!

Things I Love

Weather so nice my kids beg to go outside
Listening to them play through the open window in the kitchen
A cloth diaper wrapped baby bum
Clay under my fingernails from making sea creatures with my daughters (all in the name of science!)
The power of God's Word as my sword
Shane showing me love even more than he has before. Much like Christ loving His church
A 6 year old's explanations of how the body works
Planning. Big things. Maybe.
Vacation dreams (pretending we have the funds for a trip)
Red pens and scratch and sniff stickers
Good posture
Massages
Traction  Oops, can't love it all!

Doula Update

My blog is a mixed bag of random thoughts, my soap box issues, things I'm learning and family updates. I thought I'd spend some time this Friday with updates on my doula-ing.

I feel God has really opened up the doors for my training and now for my business. I've already shared how God worked out my training in such an awesome way in this post. The training was even better than I wrote about in that post. The two biggest concerns I've had as an aspiring doula are one: dealing respectfully with doctors/nurses who don't practice evidenced based medicine (for example an OB who refuses to do VBACs because of a personal experience with a patient, even though VBAC problems are very rare) and two: navigating through the secular humanism that has permeated natural birth (and natural everything) the last twenty years. God met both those needs with a trainer who thrives working along both midwives and OBs and who loves God with all her being. God is indeed good.

Honestly, I had this little assumption that once I completed the workshop, clients would magically appear. Of course that didn't happen, so I have decided to try some PR instead (probably a good move on my part!).  I've had great reactions from local doctors, two of which are putting my information in all their pregnant patient packets. God also put me in contact with a PT doctor who specializes in women's health. She's interested in teaming up to promote our businesses together, so we're working on a baby expo that will include fun things like maternity pictures and belly casting!

I hesitate to be so transparent, but I've been fighting doubts about all this doula business stuff. What if I never get a client? What if I'm wasting our money on training and supplies? I have offered to doula for a couple people (with no pressure) but no one has taken me up on that offer. What if I'm like the girl who sings in every talent show because her mother told her she can sing (but the audience doesn't have her mother's ears)?

I have to remember the doors God's so clearly opened. I need to trust that he designs passions within us and then graciously allows us to find income and satisfaction within those passions.

Yet, if I am like that poor talent show singer, please gently let me know. Not in the comments-but in a note sent with lots of flowers and chocolate!

Motivation

I've been thinking a lot about motivation this last week. I hear a lot of comments about motivation on Facebook. I have often been mystified on what random things seem to motivate me. But is motivation the only reason we do things?

I mean, it seems we're waiting for motivation to hit before we do what we need to do, whether it be exercising, cleaning, getting into our Bible, or whatever task might be before us. Yet most of us don't need too much motivation to brush our teeth. We do that out of habit and the basic knowledge that it needs to be done. Why can't we move our other tasks into that category?

Well, I'm convinced we can't make exercise and eating right (or other things) habits until we stop waiting for motivation to do them. You know, kids get stickers, M&Ms and a dig in the prize box for doing their chores. We are adults. If we are Christians, we also have access to the Holy Spirit who gives us the fruit of self control. Self control means doing things without M&M treats. It means doing things purely for the good of it.

How do we get there? Well, if it were easy, we'd all know already, wouldn't we? I'm struggling right now with this too. I have so many tasks that need to be done each day--and I even enjoy some of them--but fitting them all in each day means I have to beg the Father for help with self control. It might mean being more flexible, or more rigid, depending on the task and your situation. It's all so individual, you have to ask God for wisdom and the power to finish your work.

If you've got ideas and thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them in the comments.

Stand Up Straight

For the last month I've been attending two physical therapy sessions a week for my carpal-tunnel-that's-not-carpal-tunnel. You see, both my parents & my brothers have CTS so when my numbness & tingling started, ahem, years ago, I figured I was just genetically propelled to surgery. I was finally ready to do something about it and made (another) appointment with my doctor, desiring a referral for a surgeon. Instead she talked me into trying PT first.

So, I've become fast friends with Dr. Long, my PT (who actually prefers we just call her Stefanie). She graduated high school while I was changing my second child's diapers. Don't let her age fool you, she's sharp as a tack and doing me a lot of good.

However, there are better ways I'd like to spend my time. Much less costlier ways. Ways that don't involve so many "three sets of 15" and hold that stretch for 30 seconds and traction. Yes, traction.

Don't get me wrong. I kind of enjoy the hour long sessions away from home with no one else to look after but myself. It's nice to have adult conversation. And she gives me mini-massages, which is a nice perk.

But this leads us back to the time, money, and sweat part.

So at my last session, I asked Stefanie to pinpoint exactly what I need to change to avoid having my nerves vice-gripped by my shoulder muscles and my shoulder blades super glued to my back. Her reply: one word-posture.

Ouch. I'm going to be spending hundreds of dollars and dozens of hours all because of posture? Yikes.

It's the simple things in life, eh? Who knew my average posture all these years would cause so much trouble? I really thought posture was more about looking nice than any real health issues.

Moral of the story? If you aren't sitting up straight-start! And if you have some other small issues in your life, now would be a good time to deal with them-before you end up in some sort of therapy!

A New Perspective on Mentoring

Okay, so I've been among the younger women crying out for mentor women. We're all looking for older women who have it all together, have strong marriages, raised great kids, love the Lord and have time to invest in us.

Yeah. It's not working out finding many of those, now is it? Sure there are women I know who fit that description, but for some reason, we've not hit it off in that way, ya know?

So, what's a girl to do?

I've said this part before: Pray. If God wants a certain someone in your life, then He can do it.

However, this concept is new (and not my own-thanks to my friend Beverly who shared this with me).

How about a whole cabinet of Titus II women? How about one or two who share the same hobby, one who's like-minded but further down the road in her walk with the Lord, one who cooks from scratch and one who's raised children. All married women need a mature woman to talk to about how to be the wives we need to be.

Here's another aspect we don't usually consider: They don't all have to be older than us, just further down the same road we're traveling. There are women younger than me who have it down when it comes to cloth diapering and other more naturally oriented mothering issues. You bet I'm going to go to them for help!

I feel I've been very blessed in this way. I have friends I go to for cooking advice (Thank you Jennifer & Tena!), a few friends I call for health related topics (Jen again, Shelly, Andrea, Leslie), for discernment on the low down of a situation (Summer, Leah and Stephanie), a few couple friends for wisdom regarding missions and similar kingdom work (The Wades & Tefertillers), and so on.

However, what if you don't have people like this built into your life? Here are some ideas:

• Pray!

• Start thinking of women in your life and their strengths.
• Consider how you might tap into those resources. Some might be a phone call away-like calling a friend for a recipe or cooking advice. Getting advice from some might mean a lunch date (how fun!). 
• Expand your list of women you might not see regularly but you wouldn't mind getting to know better. I called my newish sister in law a few months ago for advice on how to make good chicken and dumplings. She was honored and glad to help, and it gave us one more experience to share.
• Don't let shyness stop you. Women are usually honored to be ask to share their specialty.
• Try asking your pastor or his wife for suggestions from within your church.

If all else fails, especially if you have a real hungering for growth, contact a Christian Bible counselor in your area for help with issues you'd like to work through.

May you find deep relationships that bring you closer to your goals!

Updates

It's been a while since I just updated everyone on our family's activities lately...here we go!

• Jaika has started talking about herself in the third person. She says, "Jaika wants milk." Very funny, Wendy thinks.
• Jaika has also started doing lots of big girl things-sleeping in her new (to her) toddler bed and going to sleep without diapers! 
• We're still loving Shane's schedule and new duties as an inmate work crew supervisor. Fridays off are really nice, as are holidays (after all, in his old job there was no getting around working many major holidays). 
• Our land is listed for sale again with a new real estate agent. 
• Ashlyn left karate as she's getting more involved in Fly Without Wings Horse Ranch where she volunteers twice a week. Hope goes with her and is enjoying it too.
• Hope progressed to a yellow belt! 
• My carpal tunnel-like symptoms are starting to get under control thanks to the best physical therapist on the planet discovering the problem is in my neck and shoulders, not my hands. 
• I had my first massage, all in the name of health, ya know! It was great! 
• Doula-ing is going well,  except I don't have any clients yet! I learned so much at the doula workshop. Next step: marketing! If you aren't a fan on Facebook, go here to become one!
• Audrey is a busy toddler! She's so smart! We take her back to the doctor this week for another weight check. I'm hoping to hear she's bigger! Her poundage is going to bypass her age-she's 15 months and was 16 lbs at her last doctor visit!

Little Survivalist

Bethy, our six year old has an addiction. She loves Man vs. Wild. I can't say I share that love, but that's not the point, I guess. Shane likes it and has been watching it via Netflix. Bethany is engrossed by it and is asking good questions. Hey, and she's learning what plants are edible in case she's ever stranded in a remote jungle.

Actually, I suspect Bethany likes Man vs. Wild because her Daddy does. Ashlyn formed a love for football for the same reason. I think it's sweet. Well, except when Man (I don't even know his name, I just make fun of the way he talks!) eats raw fish or something. Then it's just gross and I wonder if we're messing up our six year old's mind by letting her watch it.

Oh well, she's bonding with her Daddy...gotta love that!