Doula Work: One Year In

So, I've been a doula for a year and a half now, my first client-baby was born 13 months ago. Oh, what I've seen!

In me: I've changed. A lot. I don't fear driving in metro areas so much. I often drive to neighborhoods I've never been to, with no anxiety. I meet big ole family dogs who lick me, again with little anxiety. I spend all day every other Saturday or so away from home, stacking client appointments up so I can save trips and therefore fuel cost. Somewhere inside, I've grown and changed. Something is rising up in me that wants to protest the status quo of birth in American hospitals. Yet I find myself bringing cookies to the nurses and enjoying the greetings from nurses I've worked with before. I have more of an awe of just how fearfully and wonderfully made we really are. The Great Designer of life has made a beautiful work of birth. Moms and babies know just what to do and the hormones, reflexes, and built in hard-wiring is amazing (if we'd just stop meddling with it all!).

In our medical system: I just shake my head. I cry. Some days more than others. I sobbed after leaving a couple who were forced to strategically plan their vaginal birth after a Cesarean. Sobbed mostly for their success but also in frustration for them. Why must it be a fight? I have seen a doctor try to convince two different moms to let him do an episitomy each one clearly stated on her birth plan she didn't want. Each baby was doing fine, so there was no valid rush. Yet when the moms said they didn't want an episiotomy, each time the doctor shoved the mom's tissue up over baby's head like a too-tight turtle neck. Both moms tore moderately. I suspect it was his frantic hands-on approach to blame.

I've seen doctors outright lie to moms. One felt the need to tell mom that her baby would die if the shoulders didn't come out right. This was before the head had even been delivered, so what was the point? I've seen a doctor who doesn't do vaginal births after Cesareans pretend they did, only to pull the proverbial rug out from under mom at the last minute, giving her a fictitious reason a repeat surgery would be needed. I've seen a doctor rush his patient to deliver, putting a time restriction on her pushing time just because the L&D floor was busy. If she didn't perform this nearly super-human feat? Surgical birth for no good reason. She pushed like mad and tore as her baby was born under the time limit. One nurse confided in me that needing to pick up the kids from school is a determining factor in one OBs use of Pitocin to manage labors.

But I've seen doctors cheer on a mom doing it all the old fashioned way. One mom had a very fast labor and arrived at the hospital near the pushing stage. She wore a gown and gave birth on a hospital bed, but nothing else was medical about it. She pushed her baby out on her side in 20 minutes. The doctor said, "This is how everyone should do it."

In more than one birth, it's been the nurse who saved my client from an unnecessary Cesarean birth. Recently, one of those nurses was gently coaching my client to push, counting to ten for her. My client told me later that as she blew out her breath half way (the preferred method for moms who actually want their babies to get oxygen during pushing), she purposefully opened her eyes to check the nurse's reaction to her rebellion. The nurse was apparently looking at me knowingly. The she smiled.

Families: This is the best part. I love getting tearful hugs from the new Grandmas as I say my goodbyes after a birth. They know all too well the joyful mountain top experience the new parents are experiencing. And what a sweet moment it is when a Daddy sees his child's head start to emerge. The looks on their faces the first time they lock eyes with their baby. It's fresh on my mind right now, so it stands out more, but I will never forget the pride the husband of a vbac-ing mom has. He did it, too! She wasn't alone in her quest for a vaginal birth, he supported her and even more importantly, he saw her achieve it. It's nothing like the work a Cesarean birth demands (more emotional and restrengthening afterwards). Vaginal birth is powerful from the core of her being, especially when she's fighting the system to get it. The wise husband can't miss this and he will forever be changed by witnessing her strength.

The strength of laboring women has changed me too. And I'm so glad.

Love Language

These days some of my thoughts are too long for a Facebook status update so I thought I'd drop back in here and see what happens.

I was cleaning out some old file boxes today and came across some quizzes used to determine one's Love Language. How simple life once was.

When we were newlyweds, we had so few responsibilities! We had all the time in the world to deeply ponder if we felt more loved when our man put his arm around us at the BBQ or if writing us a note rocked our world.

How times have changed! We celebrated 16 years of marriage last weekend. Here we are now with five girls, one getting closer to launching every day all the way down to our Little Thing who is getting closer to nights without diapers! How on Earth am I supposed to know if a bear hug from Shane soothes my soul more than help with the laundry! I am up to my eyeballs in kid touches and dirty clothes, so I can't see past either one! Is his loving shoulder massage coming on the day he's finally home from working two 18 hour days in a row? If so, yeah, it's pretty nice. But I won't complain if he sees the housework and cat herding, ahem, I mean child raising is taxing me so he takes the kids to his mom's so I can enjoy some peace and quiet.

But I don't think that last one is even on the quiz. Why isn't there a "Peace & Pampering" love language? Maybe in this stage of family life, any single moment of something that appears even close to showing me you love me should count? I think so!

The Love Language concept is great, don't get me wrong. But these days I can't afford to keep up with how my husband is loving me. I know he does. He works a hard job (or two) to provide for us, he delights in the joys of having children in our home, he doesn't mind running to the store for the diapers I didn't realize we were out of, even if it is 10pm at night. So what if our anniversary was spread out over three days due to family life: Dinner one night, wine the next, and finally some alone time the third night. That's the way it goes, Baby, so you'd better just count your blessings, no matter how nitty gritty they are.

Just so you don't mistake this little post as coming from a woman on a high horse, today is Thursday. Thursday nights compete with the hour before church on Sunday morning as the hardest time of our week. I am ready for someone else to help with these kids. He is ready for some rest. Eh, doesn't line up so well. So, he's due home anytime. I forgot to thaw out the hamburger meat for dinner. This is life out here. It's a good life, but no high horses (but possibly some high mounds of horse poop!).

Goodbye for now!

So I love this blog. I love seeing the followers on the sidebar. I love all the work I've put into it.

That's why I'll leave it up and may even come back to it from time to time.


That's right, I'm officially signing off for a while. It's not possible to keep all these irons in the fire. My current ideas for blog posts are not what I want this blog to be about: doula work and some critical thoughts...and the original goal to stay in touch with family is now met with Facebook.

All Girl Homeschool isn't about birthy stuff and besides my area is just too rural to talk about experiences with caregivers and clients anonymously. I seem to have some soap box issues brewing that are not edifying, and you don't want to hear that either...

If you've come across here, please dig in, wander around and enjoy your stay. My heart is still to be a resource for homeschool families, so drop me a line in the comments if you need something.

If we aren't friends on facebook, look me up so we can keep up with each other. I have my page and my doula page: Wendy Fowler, Doula so come find me!

Life's Work

One of my doula clients asked me what I'd do if I attended a birth with a client and decided I hated doula work.

 I know I won't hate it. I already love it. My response to her is that I know God made me for this job in this season of my life and I'm excited to do it.

I know I rely heavily on my trash man but I boy there have to be better jobs, right? I have the philosophy that we should all love our jobs. My spiritual justification? God gave us all a unique set of gifts and talents, personality and genes. He has wired us to do a specific work. Of course I don't like all things about my work as a mom (scrubbing toilets, anyone?) but really, I do love it. I loved pregnancy center work. I loved breast feeding counseling, and I love doula work. I've been blessed enough to be so happy with my work that I felt guilty for getting paid!

In a similar vein, Shane is in a "dead end" job, meaning he can't move up the ladder much in the position he's in. But he loves it. He enjoys being outside, working with just a couple inmates at a time, seeing the county side every day, and doing physical labor. I am thrilled that he enjoys his work. I remember a time about a dozen years ago when he hated his job. He was a different man. Depressed and unmotivated. I like the 2010 version much better!

I think the key to finding work or ministry you love is to consider your passions, then think about how you can make a living within those passions. A good book is Your Life of Your Money, which stresses not giving up the abundant life God has for us (my words, not the author's) in the workplace just for stuff to enjoy on the weekends. If you are in a job you don't enjoy, I encourage you to prayerfully evaluate your talents, passions, and personality and read that book! You'll be glad you did! Don't you want to feel guilty for getting paid?!

New Years Goal-Ripple Effect

So do you remember your New Year's resolution? Well, I don't know that I can recall all mine, but I must tell you about the effects of my sweet cousin's 2010 goal.

But let me back up.

During our childhood years, until we graduated from high school, most of my cousins on one side of our family lived in the same town. We were in school together and played at each others houses. Once we grew up and had families, we hardly saw each other except major holidays. This particular cousin, Jamie, was around on Christmas but Easter brought her around long enough to make an appearance.  Of course we'd always have a good time visiting at Christmas and promise to get together more during the year, but it never happened. And so it went until we started watching her now almost four year old when she was about 18 months old. We visited some each week and our old childhood friendship was rekindled.

Then Jamie lost her job and we didn't see her daily anymore. We'd talk on Facebook some and tried to stay in touch. Then 2010 came along and Jamie told me her goal was to reconnect with her family. Boy has she!

I'm so proud of my little cousin for taking the time to really do what we all mean to do. She's calling my Grandma regularly (and making me look bad!), chatting with my parents (her aunt & uncle) on Facebook, and she and I are hanging out and talking on the phone. It's all because she decided to make family a priority and to follow through.

I love it when that happens. If we could all pursue our goals with such gusto!




  

Pruning Past your Comfort Level

Mom and I were doing our spring ritual of walking through her yard and talking plants. I think she hopes these little talks will inspire me to dig in the dirt...which I hope to do. Someday.

We were talking about her rose bush that was almost touching the overhang of the house. Until she pruned it. And I do mean PRUNED it. She and I agreed that when you prune a plant, especially a rose, you prune as much as you can, then do it some more.

Well, I am relating to that pruning, but not in the way you'd guess. Not with anything spiritual...but practically speaking with decluttering while packing. I mean, like Ashlyn said tonight, "We just have to have more than one package of Oreos, since with just two a piece, 14 are gone."

So as I pack pretending to be a minimalist, I still see stacks of boxes as high as mom's pre-pruned rose bush! I really want to just have a few things when we move. If I don't love it, it aint goin' with us. Well, that's the theory anyway. My family insists the purple Dora chair with the burn hole in the back goes. I sure hope it doesn't get lost in the move...

I think the only way to get to my goal of having less stuff is to prune past the pain. That's the highly inspirational thought for the day. 

ER Visits & Such

Well, I planned to tell you about other things like doula-ing or the story of how God changed us from sellers (of land) to the buyers (of a house for the land) but life can change on a dime...

After a "field trip" to visit a friend yesterday, my cousin & her daughter came to visit. Her daughter is the one we used to babysit and Jaika calls Adri her best friend. They're about six weeks apart and it's so sweet to see them growing up together. So not five minutes after they arrive, a game of tag ensues in the living room and Jaika jumps up on the couch (usually frowned upon by Mom & Dad) and slipped off again. When she fell, she broke her collar bone. Of course I didn't know this yet, so I thought it was possible her "Ouchie! Ouchie! Ouchie!" outbursts were fueled by her sleepy state and her need for drama (it's happened before...).

However, after a nap, she immediately woke up with more "Ouchies!" so off to the ER we went. She made it known she didn't want to be there and had no intention of cooperating with anyone. Oh the joys of being three and getting away with that attitude! They all thought she was cute (at least that's how they acted...not sure the x-ray tech agreed). Admittedly, she was pretty adorable when she told the clerk she passed down her old insurance to her baby sister and then said her Daddy was "at the jail" (he was at work, but as a security guard at that moment). The doctor asked if she was allergic to anything and she answered, "pink medicine". She brought him up to date on getting a new big bathtub in her new house we're moving into "tomorrow" and that she has a princess bed and gets pink bubble gum "every year".

Since Shane was at work, I did this trip solo but really needed another adult to help carry all the treats they gave her-a teddy bear larger than her, then a matching small one...she came home wearing a tiny dinosaur sling. She's being a great patient now that she's home but Shane & I are a little weary from being the parents of an injured, spirited child. He went to the store late last night (early this morning?) for Motrin and of course came home with treats for her. When he told her this morning he had a surprise for her, she said, "I know, you went to Wal-Mart and got me a surprise because you love me."

Oh brother.

Oh Wendy Where Art Thou?

I know, the remaining two readers have really been wondering where I've been...

Of course, on Facebook.

Yet I've also been graduating from physical therapy, doula-ing, becoming an expert on septic systems, and packing. Let's take these one at a time, shall we?

PT-My best friend who puts me in traction, Dr Stefanie discharged me. I'm not cured necessarily as only better posture, hours of daily yoga and not taking life so seriously are the only real cures. In the mean time, I'm managing my symptoms (in theory anyway) with stretching, strengthening and massages.

Doula-ing-I have 3.5 clients. I am hoping .5 will become my fourth this week, but I'm trying to get my heart ready for the first person who interviews me but doesn't hire me. It's bound to happen right? Yes, alas, it is. So back to my 3 whole clients. I have been praying and praying for clients, fighting back the devil's whispers that say I was a fool to pay for all the doula gear and business cards as no one really wants me. Then on March 12th I received my first call from a newish friend who wants me to help her have a vaginal birth after Cesarean (VBAC) in October. Within five days I had three more calls. Two were referrals from a doula in the next town over who'll be out of town during those births. Both of those couples are so very sweet and I can't wait to be a part of their births. The other was from California. I don't commute that far right now.

Septic Systems and Packing-We're finally moving to our land in the country. We've had our land for almost ten years and for most that time we've been working towards moving onto it. The last two years we've been trying to sell it to get out of debt but we've finally figured out it's not what God wants us to do. I'll write about that soon. For right now just know He's opened the doors in a big way for this to happen. We're living our dream of getting some country living into our girls. Can't wait for it!

I'll be here again soon to fill you in more. Lots of good things happening. God is good.

Wisdom on Balance

Sally Clarkson, one of my favorite women, posted this on Facebook today. I thought it was especially wise. I'm going to cut and paste it into a Word document so I can go back to it as I need to hear it again (daily? hourly?). I think you'll find some freedom here, so I'll let you get to it.

Balance is Oversold -Sally Clarkson

Today as I was whizzing in the car to Kohl's (afterall, I had a 30% coupon in my hot little hand) looking for jeans and a couple of things that Joy needed, all the while keeping in mind that she has a meeting I have to drive her to in an hour.

Also knowing that I have to pick up some medication for the sinus infection I have developed with an internal ear infection (going on since Michigan--five weeks ago) and have an appointment with friends to pray at 5 and then pick Joy up from her meeting, and then go back to Walmart for the things she will need while I am gone;

and then to a cooking class with Sarah and Joy-- we signed up for a while ago, and then meeting friends who are flying in from out of town at their hotel at 9; finish packing and then leave for the airport with Clay and Sarah at 7:30 in the morning,

and I think--my life is not in balance--but I can still walk with God, have joy, enjoy my minutes and the ones in my life at each moment, and make it through one minute at a time.

My home is not in balance--I know that when I fly to 5 cities in 7 weeks, that my house will get messier than usual and need a good cleaning when I get home--that if I am going to be faithful to schooling when I am home and making meals and having quiet times in between all the prep for conferences--that things will pile up and go by the way side--but I also know I have a plan for getting it all together when I get home.

I know it will take all of us a few days just to sleep enough to have the energy to clean and straighten up--but I know that we will get to it and I will feel good about my home again.

I liked what a friend said to me, "The ticking hand on a clock is only in balance at one point while the fulcrum swings back and forth between the two sides."

And so my life goes--in perfect balance once in a while--but always swinging between the two tensions.

My life wasn't in balance when I had 3 children under 5 and I had to nurse them and deal with ear infections and asthma.

My life wasn't in balance very often amidst the 17 moves--6 times internationally--seemed often I was packing or unpacking--

My life wasn't in balance when I had 3 teenagers and an elementary aged child who just wanted to play and read picture books, while we were staying up late with our teens talking about all sorts of serious issues in life, and then getting up early with my wee, little fun one-with dark circles under my eyes.

And all the while these in my home wanted to eat, (which meant shopping, cooking and an endless stream of dishes) and wear relatively clean clothes and messes abounded--always cleaning and messing--straightening and cluttering. No balance but a lot of life and fun and discussions and work and corrections--a stream of life never ending, but flowing to yet another new challenge and season of life.

I think I would have been so much more content and joyful if I had just known at the beginning that life for me would not be balanced--but could always be meaningful--if I would just accept the limitations of each day, each season, each child, my marriage and my finances--none totally balance, perfect--but all a blessing--so that is what was going through my mind today as I was whizzing about.

I don't think scripture promises balance--Jesus's life was not balanced--he always had people chasing after him and someone was always criticizing him amidst the feeding of 5 thousands, healing lepers and forgiving prostitutes, holding children and blessing them and saying scathing things to the Pharisees--

Paul's life was certainly not balanced--even keeled--amidst prison, ship wrecks, beatings, and teachings. Peter was traveling, teaching, being persecuted--yet all of these had joy, full hearts, love and time to reach out to and teach others.

So, I was contemplating today--that if I would just see this day and all that my puzzle brings as God's will, I would be content, joyful and enjoy rest in the moments of my days.

Off to pick up Joy!

Things I Love

Weather so nice my kids beg to go outside
Listening to them play through the open window in the kitchen
A cloth diaper wrapped baby bum
Clay under my fingernails from making sea creatures with my daughters (all in the name of science!)
The power of God's Word as my sword
Shane showing me love even more than he has before. Much like Christ loving His church
A 6 year old's explanations of how the body works
Planning. Big things. Maybe.
Vacation dreams (pretending we have the funds for a trip)
Red pens and scratch and sniff stickers
Good posture
Massages
Traction  Oops, can't love it all!

Doula Update

My blog is a mixed bag of random thoughts, my soap box issues, things I'm learning and family updates. I thought I'd spend some time this Friday with updates on my doula-ing.

I feel God has really opened up the doors for my training and now for my business. I've already shared how God worked out my training in such an awesome way in this post. The training was even better than I wrote about in that post. The two biggest concerns I've had as an aspiring doula are one: dealing respectfully with doctors/nurses who don't practice evidenced based medicine (for example an OB who refuses to do VBACs because of a personal experience with a patient, even though VBAC problems are very rare) and two: navigating through the secular humanism that has permeated natural birth (and natural everything) the last twenty years. God met both those needs with a trainer who thrives working along both midwives and OBs and who loves God with all her being. God is indeed good.

Honestly, I had this little assumption that once I completed the workshop, clients would magically appear. Of course that didn't happen, so I have decided to try some PR instead (probably a good move on my part!).  I've had great reactions from local doctors, two of which are putting my information in all their pregnant patient packets. God also put me in contact with a PT doctor who specializes in women's health. She's interested in teaming up to promote our businesses together, so we're working on a baby expo that will include fun things like maternity pictures and belly casting!

I hesitate to be so transparent, but I've been fighting doubts about all this doula business stuff. What if I never get a client? What if I'm wasting our money on training and supplies? I have offered to doula for a couple people (with no pressure) but no one has taken me up on that offer. What if I'm like the girl who sings in every talent show because her mother told her she can sing (but the audience doesn't have her mother's ears)?

I have to remember the doors God's so clearly opened. I need to trust that he designs passions within us and then graciously allows us to find income and satisfaction within those passions.

Yet, if I am like that poor talent show singer, please gently let me know. Not in the comments-but in a note sent with lots of flowers and chocolate!

Motivation

I've been thinking a lot about motivation this last week. I hear a lot of comments about motivation on Facebook. I have often been mystified on what random things seem to motivate me. But is motivation the only reason we do things?

I mean, it seems we're waiting for motivation to hit before we do what we need to do, whether it be exercising, cleaning, getting into our Bible, or whatever task might be before us. Yet most of us don't need too much motivation to brush our teeth. We do that out of habit and the basic knowledge that it needs to be done. Why can't we move our other tasks into that category?

Well, I'm convinced we can't make exercise and eating right (or other things) habits until we stop waiting for motivation to do them. You know, kids get stickers, M&Ms and a dig in the prize box for doing their chores. We are adults. If we are Christians, we also have access to the Holy Spirit who gives us the fruit of self control. Self control means doing things without M&M treats. It means doing things purely for the good of it.

How do we get there? Well, if it were easy, we'd all know already, wouldn't we? I'm struggling right now with this too. I have so many tasks that need to be done each day--and I even enjoy some of them--but fitting them all in each day means I have to beg the Father for help with self control. It might mean being more flexible, or more rigid, depending on the task and your situation. It's all so individual, you have to ask God for wisdom and the power to finish your work.

If you've got ideas and thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them in the comments.

Stand Up Straight

For the last month I've been attending two physical therapy sessions a week for my carpal-tunnel-that's-not-carpal-tunnel. You see, both my parents & my brothers have CTS so when my numbness & tingling started, ahem, years ago, I figured I was just genetically propelled to surgery. I was finally ready to do something about it and made (another) appointment with my doctor, desiring a referral for a surgeon. Instead she talked me into trying PT first.

So, I've become fast friends with Dr. Long, my PT (who actually prefers we just call her Stefanie). She graduated high school while I was changing my second child's diapers. Don't let her age fool you, she's sharp as a tack and doing me a lot of good.

However, there are better ways I'd like to spend my time. Much less costlier ways. Ways that don't involve so many "three sets of 15" and hold that stretch for 30 seconds and traction. Yes, traction.

Don't get me wrong. I kind of enjoy the hour long sessions away from home with no one else to look after but myself. It's nice to have adult conversation. And she gives me mini-massages, which is a nice perk.

But this leads us back to the time, money, and sweat part.

So at my last session, I asked Stefanie to pinpoint exactly what I need to change to avoid having my nerves vice-gripped by my shoulder muscles and my shoulder blades super glued to my back. Her reply: one word-posture.

Ouch. I'm going to be spending hundreds of dollars and dozens of hours all because of posture? Yikes.

It's the simple things in life, eh? Who knew my average posture all these years would cause so much trouble? I really thought posture was more about looking nice than any real health issues.

Moral of the story? If you aren't sitting up straight-start! And if you have some other small issues in your life, now would be a good time to deal with them-before you end up in some sort of therapy!

A New Perspective on Mentoring

Okay, so I've been among the younger women crying out for mentor women. We're all looking for older women who have it all together, have strong marriages, raised great kids, love the Lord and have time to invest in us.

Yeah. It's not working out finding many of those, now is it? Sure there are women I know who fit that description, but for some reason, we've not hit it off in that way, ya know?

So, what's a girl to do?

I've said this part before: Pray. If God wants a certain someone in your life, then He can do it.

However, this concept is new (and not my own-thanks to my friend Beverly who shared this with me).

How about a whole cabinet of Titus II women? How about one or two who share the same hobby, one who's like-minded but further down the road in her walk with the Lord, one who cooks from scratch and one who's raised children. All married women need a mature woman to talk to about how to be the wives we need to be.

Here's another aspect we don't usually consider: They don't all have to be older than us, just further down the same road we're traveling. There are women younger than me who have it down when it comes to cloth diapering and other more naturally oriented mothering issues. You bet I'm going to go to them for help!

I feel I've been very blessed in this way. I have friends I go to for cooking advice (Thank you Jennifer & Tena!), a few friends I call for health related topics (Jen again, Shelly, Andrea, Leslie), for discernment on the low down of a situation (Summer, Leah and Stephanie), a few couple friends for wisdom regarding missions and similar kingdom work (The Wades & Tefertillers), and so on.

However, what if you don't have people like this built into your life? Here are some ideas:

• Pray!

• Start thinking of women in your life and their strengths.
• Consider how you might tap into those resources. Some might be a phone call away-like calling a friend for a recipe or cooking advice. Getting advice from some might mean a lunch date (how fun!). 
• Expand your list of women you might not see regularly but you wouldn't mind getting to know better. I called my newish sister in law a few months ago for advice on how to make good chicken and dumplings. She was honored and glad to help, and it gave us one more experience to share.
• Don't let shyness stop you. Women are usually honored to be ask to share their specialty.
• Try asking your pastor or his wife for suggestions from within your church.

If all else fails, especially if you have a real hungering for growth, contact a Christian Bible counselor in your area for help with issues you'd like to work through.

May you find deep relationships that bring you closer to your goals!

Updates

It's been a while since I just updated everyone on our family's activities lately...here we go!

• Jaika has started talking about herself in the third person. She says, "Jaika wants milk." Very funny, Wendy thinks.
• Jaika has also started doing lots of big girl things-sleeping in her new (to her) toddler bed and going to sleep without diapers! 
• We're still loving Shane's schedule and new duties as an inmate work crew supervisor. Fridays off are really nice, as are holidays (after all, in his old job there was no getting around working many major holidays). 
• Our land is listed for sale again with a new real estate agent. 
• Ashlyn left karate as she's getting more involved in Fly Without Wings Horse Ranch where she volunteers twice a week. Hope goes with her and is enjoying it too.
• Hope progressed to a yellow belt! 
• My carpal tunnel-like symptoms are starting to get under control thanks to the best physical therapist on the planet discovering the problem is in my neck and shoulders, not my hands. 
• I had my first massage, all in the name of health, ya know! It was great! 
• Doula-ing is going well,  except I don't have any clients yet! I learned so much at the doula workshop. Next step: marketing! If you aren't a fan on Facebook, go here to become one!
• Audrey is a busy toddler! She's so smart! We take her back to the doctor this week for another weight check. I'm hoping to hear she's bigger! Her poundage is going to bypass her age-she's 15 months and was 16 lbs at her last doctor visit!

Little Survivalist

Bethy, our six year old has an addiction. She loves Man vs. Wild. I can't say I share that love, but that's not the point, I guess. Shane likes it and has been watching it via Netflix. Bethany is engrossed by it and is asking good questions. Hey, and she's learning what plants are edible in case she's ever stranded in a remote jungle.

Actually, I suspect Bethany likes Man vs. Wild because her Daddy does. Ashlyn formed a love for football for the same reason. I think it's sweet. Well, except when Man (I don't even know his name, I just make fun of the way he talks!) eats raw fish or something. Then it's just gross and I wonder if we're messing up our six year old's mind by letting her watch it.

Oh well, she's bonding with her Daddy...gotta love that!

Proofers Needed

Okay, I was surfing the web and came across some shirts I'd like you to check out. Any of these just not seem right to you?

 
You can also see a Grandma model wearing a shirt that says, "We're expecting our first baby boy" and a baby wearing a shirt that says he'd rather be assisting a birth! Just enjoy a laugh today, courtesy of  www.razzle.com/childbirth+tshirts.

Miracle (Warning: graphic photo)

We had a baby dedication ceremony Sunday at church. All babies born in 2008 and 2009 were invited to be a part. It was sweet to have Audrey there. One of the promises we as parents made in front of our church family was to remember our children are  special gifts. Shane and I spoke later about what we were thinking in that moment.

This is what was on our minds:

 

  This is my placenta from my fourth pregnancy. It was a successful VBAC with an post term baby. You can see in the photo of a finger pointing at a knot. That's what we were thinking about. We have another set of pictures from Audrey's birth with a similar picture of a knotted cord.

Knotted cords can be fatal. Imagine your child's oxygen and food supply threatened for weeks and weeks while mom and dad continue on without a clue! Babies' cords knot way before the end of the pregnancy; they knot when babies still have the freedom to use it as a jump rope. Thankfully, neither of our daughters' cords knotted during pregnancy, although Audrey's may have tightened during labor, sending us for an emergency Cesarean birth. This is a very present part of our lives. We think about it on a weekly basis, even though our knotted cord babies are ages 3 and 1!

Having children so narrowly escape death has made us especially thankful for their little lives. It's helped us have grace for our little tornado Jaika.

The reality is, and I've said this here before, is that all of us have escaped death, probably narrowly as well. Who knows how many times God protected us from being in an fatal car accident by placing us behind a farmer on a John Deere (happens in this rural area all the time!)?

All of us are fearfully and wonderfully made, with a purpose put before us by a Holy God. Your life is precious and has meaning. May your heavenly Father confirm that in your heart today.

Physical Therapy for Mommas

I've come upon a of new-to-me resource I want to pass on to all my mom readers. I'm really excited to discover a physical therapist with a women's health specialty. Even my smallish rural hospital has a couple of women with this expertise. They are trained to help women with our unique physical challenges that can stem from simply being female. For example, if a woman is having a lot of lower back pain during pregnancy, a physical therapist like I described can help her ease her pain and hopefully keep it at bay. I love this!

Of course, I'm really loving the whole idea of physical therapy right now, as I'm benefiting from my treatments greatly! I have what I've described as "Mommy Neck and Shoulders" where my neck and shoulders are so tight, my nerves are getting compressed. PT has really done wonders, much to my surprise. I thought I was going to have to have surgery for my carpal tunnel like symptoms.

Something that really helped me was to read a sign on the PT room wall. It ready, "You don't have to live with pain." I have been living with lower back pain just because I thought I had to. I thought it was just weak abs from having a second Cesarean. I was already benefiting from the therapy on my neck and shoulders, so why fix that only to live with lower back pain? I mentioned it to my PT and we are going to address it as soon as my neck is healed. I'm so excited!

I know, I'm a little bit of a nerd, but so what? I am so blessed that PT is solving my hand issues, and quickly, too! I'm also blessed that my PT doctor says a massage or two would help me, too! I've had one so far (my first ever!) and there's not much better than a 45 minute deep tissue massage ordered by my doctor! No guilt!

Seriously, if you are a momma in pain, don't live with it. There's no reason to! You don't deserve it, even if it's a result of bad habits (mine is probably from carrying babies on my hip and having poor posture). There's no time like now to tackle those habits and the pain.

Besides, there might be a massage in it for you, too-and even if there's not, at least PT time means an hour or so out of the house sans children! I just pretend it's a spa treatment (where I have to work a bit, but hey, it's better than changing diapers)!

"I want to live like I was 70 yesterday...

and God gave me a chance to live all my younger days..."

The lyrics to a GS Megaphone song go something like that. It's inspirational for me. Even more inspirational is seeing it done in real life. At my doula training, our ages came up. One of the women was 57 and she soon learned she wasn't the only one nearing her sixth decade-one other trainee and our trainer were all about the same age.

It's one thing for a woman well established in  her career, like our trainer, to be mature and still learning, but how about someone becoming a doula at age 57? Isn't that great?

I know there are challenges. I was whining at the training about needing to sift through all my breastfeeding knowledge to sort out what's dated and what's valid. My more mature friends have years worth of information to sort through! The key is they aren't hindered by it; they keep plugging away anyway!

I want to keep learning until I'm six feet under. I want to instill that love for learning into my children. That's one reason we love Sonlight. We also try to live a life of discovery as a family, always sharing what we're learning, especially about science since we have a science geek daddy in the house! We take the time to explain things to our kids. Just today Bethany and I were driving through new road contruction and we talked about what the workers were doing with all the rocks they were digging up and why they couldn't just leave them in the ground.

What's out there you want to do before you're "too old" (whatever that means)? Well, hop to it, friend!